Sunday 4 March 2012

Achievements, Anger and Animation

The word of the week is patience.

Feb 27 - Animation 

Growing up, I loved anything to do with animation. Disney and Don Bluth were just two of the giants that filled my childhood with fantastic visions and great adventures. Animation is the closest thing I know of to translating imagination directly into tangible form, to take ideas and make them appear magically for anyone to watch exactly as you want them to appear. Not being talented in that area, I make do with the rich imagery that words conjure in a reader's mind, yet I've always had a fascination with the world of animation.

A good friend of mine had the good fortune to become friends with one of the most talented animations of their generation: Michel Gagné. Anyone in the field of animation knows who Michel is, as his talent stands head, shoulders and knees above all others; it's just stunning to watch his work( search YouTube! ). Have a gander at his student film, fully rendered in colour with incredible effects when most of his peers struggled to animate a few frames in colour themselves. Breathtaking:



Feb 28 - Raspberry Pi( yes, there's no 'e' )

Computers are becoming ever-smaller and cheaper every year; I'll not bore with you the specifics, as Google can provide far more timely info for you than I can here. Instead, I'll just give an excellent recent example: the Raspberry Pi, produced here in Toronto and sold via a UK firm for just $35. It has 2 USB ports, an ethernet port, runs with any TV as a monitor and uses cheap SD cards as memory. It's akin to the early AppleII and C64 computers from the 80's, only a hundred times less expensive. Now anyone with lunch money can have access to a computer for whatever they wish to use it for, as it's easily programmable( not my bailiwick )and simple to use. Much like the OneLaptopPerChild and OneTabletPerChild programs, these devices are aimed at bringing computing to the masses, anywhere in the world. Amazing! 




Feb 29 - Novel Beginnings

February DID see me complete the first chapter of my novel, something that I am proud of despite the mental contortions I went through to decide where to start. I write a little of my novel every day, as well as expand the idea jar and sketch out more of the world and its characters so I can refer to the structure as I go along to ensure a cohesive whole. Parts of it are ready, waiting for me to fill in and flesh out when I get to them. Other areas are barest skeletons, where I am not quite sure what will fit and what won't, so likely I'll redo those a few times once I get other parts locked down.

I sometimes find my muse taking on a life of its own, seeing myself as an observer in the world in my head, privy to all that transpires as I rush frantically to write down the barest details to recall later as I write. This is the way my best work comes to me, I think: the characters take on a life of their own and I watch what they do with wide-eyed wonder. Having those moments makes the whole writing process worthwhile, as I feel like a privileged guest in a play first performed only for me… and then I have to be the one relating it as best I can second-hand to my readers. I can only hope I do what I saw in my head justice as I craft the words to their best effect…



March 1 - Having a life

One month since I left MMart and I can feel myself relaxing... but not too much, as I STILL haven't heard boo from EI. It's damn frustrating, biting my nails every day almost as I wait for someone in a government office to tell me that Yes, You DO Qualify for leaving a workplace that was killing you. Sure, I've planned to be off work for a few months at least while I job-search, but I am not the sort to sit around and think that lazy is the norm. I want to KNOW. So I continue to search for a job, while I wait.

Plus relax. I'm getting out for a solid walk every day, eating on a MUCH more regular schedule and just enjoying being able to choose the course of each of my days. Despite not much getting as much done as I think I should, I am still trying to get in time to read, relax and even nap( briefly )when I feel like it. With as little TV as possible, as that's just filler time as far as I'm concerned; I have hundreds of hours of TV shows on DVD that I've been converting( slowly... )that I'd rather watch than channel-surf. They represent the time that I've never had to just sit down and catch up over the last few years.

March 2 - More On Writing

The afternoon rain saw me sitting in James Bay Coffee and Books, where I met with several members of the local Victoria Writer's Group. We were there to discuss the mysteries of publishing with a local self-publisher who has helped dozens of authors realize their dreams of creating a tangible book from their hard work. Most of the questions were not directly related to fiction writers such as myself, but were more focused on the self-help and non-fiction authors. Yet seeing as this local publisher normally charges $150 an hour for consultations, her gracious offer to speak to anyone who came for the price of a tea was impossible to pass up.

What I've learned from today's meeting( and last week's )is that I am ahead of the game. I've given thought and planning to many aspects of my novel that do not occur to most writers, apparently. The discovery that my habits of thinking around a problem, researching things and planning ahead have already served to put me in the front of the pack of new authors working on their first novel is VERY heartening, to say the least. Having confirmation that my hard work being poured into my novel will NOT be in vain, that I will at least have a solid chance at getting my book out there, is steadying to me. In some ways, I am even more eager now than before to WRITE, as I can see many avenues and possibilities for getting my stories Out There and not seeing them languish in some unsold pile in the corner of a small book shop.

March 3 - A Day On The Town!

A windy but lovely day that I spent most of in Victoria, a total departure( literally )for me compared to my hermit-like habits of late. I waited in line for breakfast at The Blue Fox, a fantastic bistro restaurant whose food is beyond compare( check it out on Yelp! )and well-worth the wait in the wind. Yes, I was VERY windy today, but not so that going outside was a health hazard. After a leisurely semi-brunch, a friend and I went browsing along the shops of the downtown area... and I ended up at Russell Books, where I gave in to temptation and purchased a dozen used paperbacks, all of which I had never seen before and sorely wanted. For research, as many touched on parts of the world I am creating and refining for my novel. Research, yes, ahem. Once I had managed to tear myself away from the book shop, I finished up the day people watching in the afternoon at The Soda Shoppe, where I enjoyed a root beer as the world walked by; the place has an excellent view of the promenade in front of The Empress Hotel by the inner harbor. A lovely day.

Marred by a frustrating evening tonight playing games online, but I'll mention that later...



March 4 - Anger

Oh, how the foibles of emotion can grip you! I embarked on my usual day of gaming online with my friends, playing a pleasant hour and a bit of Borderlands with a friend( BL2 comes out in Sept, yay! )and then turning to Battlefield3... which was a mistake.

It sucked. Big time.

BF3 is the one game in my collection that (almost) drives me to smashing things with my controller; expensive things I can't afford to replace. Game after game today was a teeth-clenching anger-drenched experience, where I learned time and again that I was playing people who spent ALL their free time playing THIS game to become viciously efficient virtual killing machines.

For me, it's a short-fused line that I get dragged across, screaming in my head every time I die uselessly in the game at the hands of some UberGamer. I realize that in order to get NEAR as good as many of these BF3 gamers, I will have to dedicate some serious time to the game. To the exclusion of other games. And my writing. And my social life. Which I'm NOT willing to do. Nope.

My solution? Put the game away for the rest of the month. Go for an evening walk to clear my head and think of other things. Put on some Enya to relax and swallow down the bile that I'm Not Good Enough and I Was pwnd. Especially when I was separated from my group of friends / squadmates( cute message break here ):



I think that's what gets me; that in a very immediate, measurable way, I have been found wanting in an arena that I entered in order to enjoy myself and instead found continual frustration because my skillz aren't sharp enough to Keep Up. So I'll let the UberGamers fight each other and sit out for a while, rather than work up my blood pressure in a one-sided war with no real winners, despite the mocking glow of the online leaderboards. I'm better than that.


After putting together the blog, I managed to mellow out for the rest of the evening, which was VERY good in it's own way. I disappeared into a book and forgot all about the shallowness of online victory. Which was itself, a victory!