Monday 1 July 2013

Listening, Lurkers and Life Lessons

The word of the week is   … quandary.

June 24 - More Challenges

Today my sister was let go by her boss: downsized, if you will.

It was a good day for him though: he's getting bought out of his own company, so now he gets to retire around age 40. Which apparently doesn't sit well with him, but I can't bring myself to empathize much. She'll still be doing some other side work, but not a whole lot yet.


Which leaves me with a low-paying( albeit full-time )job to keep things afloat for two people, in effect. Guess it's good that I'm used to this kind of thing by now, so much so that I'm viewing it as yet another challenge and not a giant wall that we have to find some way to climb, go around or tunnel under.

That's a good thing; life is full of unexpected obstacles and as the oft – used quote goes, you should see them as stepping stones instead of boulders in your path.

June 25 - Lurker's Guide to B5

Every few years in my blog, I'll mention the Lurker's Guide to Babylon 5.

The Lurker's Guide has been around for close to 20 years, faithfully having recorded millions of words related to the show on episode by episode basis. It's an incredible resource for anyone who likes, or loves, Babylon 5.

What makes it unique and still a valuable resource today long after the show has gone off the air is the depth to which it dives into each and every episode. There are many resources on the site, but none are as revealing as to the episode analyses that were posted as each episode aired and updated as theories were made regarding what various meanings could be extracted from the newly – aired material.


Adding to the uniqueness was the fact that JMS's cryptic responses to fan questions posted on several Internet forms( an innovation that was the first of its kind at the time ) where interleaved into the material and added their own level of intrigue to the whole site. It was endlessly fascinating to read through as each episode aired, trying to create your own connections between all the dots and wondering what was coming next.

I'm so glad that the Lurker's Guide is still there to read through whenever I have the time these days. Even though I've seen the entire series from start to finish several times, there's so much contained within that I always find something new to wonder over and to add to the depth of the show.

June 26 - Benevolence

A month ago I spent my last day in Arizona at the Phoenix ComiCon.

I came back a changed person, one who had left the lot behind under the blazing heat of the desert sun. The balanced mindset that I returned with has faded somewhat, but the stress that I had taken with me has not returned for which I am glad. It means that whatever I face in the future will not be written by the misgivings and frustrations of my past but instead will be fresh challenges for me to learn from.


What I miss is that incredible feeling that nothing, absolutely nothing, was wrong with the world on that particular day. It's very hard to describe, which for me is saying a lot; it was a mix of euphoria, simple happiness, a certain feeling that the world was a wonderful place and that my place in it had been waiting all long for me to simply step into. I wrote in that blog entry that other people certainly notice my newly minted beneficence that I radiated and since returning home I've made every effort to maintain that outgoing positive attitude whenever interact with people and indeed whenever I'm just by myself.

Perhaps it was me placing my foot on the first step towards Enlightenment; I'm not sure as I don't have a lot of knowledge on that subject to say definitively. However I do know that it was one of the greatest experiences of my life and it's beneficial repercussions will be felt by me for another few decades at least.

June 27 - Zoom Zoom!

I hit my stride today at work.

When I'm not stressing out while working and I know what I'm doing, I tend to really enjoy myself. Today was a good example: it was busy from the word go and got crazy for a few solid hours in the afternoon. I was working with two other people and it was still difficult to keep up with all the customers and phone calls we were inundated with for some reason on this date. I ended up smiling and Rushing around to keep up with things, keeping the workflow going and letting my more experienced coworkers get various jobs completed while I handled the front end and the occasional small job.

By the end of the rush, I was full of energy and cracking jokes, which made my two coworkers give me odd looks. The one girl told me that I was "Far too bubbly for having been so busy" which I took as a huge compliment, as I've experienced this exact same exuberance only a few times during my previous job when all you could do was laugh at the absurdity of how busy it was.

In today's case, a single person was upset from having to wait or having to adjust in order due to a miscommunication; everything went off without a hitch despite the pressure. I went home elated at how it had all turned out for the best today and that I had dived in with both feet two, swimming strongly all the way through the initial massive stress to end up smiling as I left for the day.

June 28 - Skilled Listening

Have you ever noticed how some people listen to you only long enough to get in their own two cents?

It's an odd thing if you notice it during a conversation: people open and close their mouth, just waiting for the instant when they can dive in to have you listen to them, instead of you finishing talking.


Sure, it's the way that conversations usually work; people are always interrupting and changing the flow of their interaction depending on the subject matter at hand. However, a good listener will sit back and let someone fall the train of their own thoughts to its near – final destination and not interrupt with their own opinion only halfway through the journey.

I've discovered that I'm one of those long – term listeners, which is a good thing. I let people get on with their thoughts, to get them organized and out fully – formed instead of trying to get my own words in as soon as possible. I think it's the mark of a good listener when they only speak up to prompt the other person along and not interrupt otherwise until it's certain that the train has fully arrived.

Perhaps my writing has improved because I've learned listen, in addition to sharpening my observational skills. When someone's talking to me and there's no major distractions, I devote my full attention to their every word so that I can offer an informed response when needed or asked for. It's also meant that I feel disappointment when the situation is reversed and someone doesn't fully listen to what I'm saying and so misses so many conversational cues where they should try to open up the subject I'm flirting with but don't want to just drop onto the table like a lead weight.

Even a good listener needs to be listened to every once in a while.

June 29 - Party, Crashed?

This evening I went to a friend's birthday party - I need more of these, please!

It was held at his father's place, conveniently near where I work. So I biked over there just before dinnertime and found myself one of the first arrivals. Other friends arrived fairly quickly and by the time evening had turned to dusk, there were quite a few people crowding the back patio - most of whom I already knew, which was great. I had a great time chatting with folks outside, as most were quite g33ky and we batted a range of topics all over the place with abandon. The group and I have definitely gelled, as we share a lot of interests and just all get along on a terrific laid-back level.


Some fascinating conversations happened with the host's father as well, who it turns out restores classic cars: he has a full workshop in his basement and an attached garage that's half the size of the house itself! He had some wonderful stories to share about the hundreds of classic cars he's worked on over the years, turning out to be a real character and a delight to know. By the end of the night, he'd declared me 'part of the family' and I can't think of a higher compliment from someone I'd just met that day.

The evening ended on a solid note that could have been bad, as we had some party-crashers from a few doors down show up a little before midnight. They did so quietly through the side gate into the backyard and the first most of us knew of their arrival was when we stuck our head out the patio doors and didn't recognize most of the faces that had filled the chairs outside. Most of the new arrivals were very friendly and polite, however there was one who was not and with some delicate negotiation skills a few of us managed to move the whole lot of them out again without it becoming a big scene or bothering the neighbors overmuch. It was a big relief to look around when it was all said and done and to recognize every one of the faces that were left. I headed out on my bike soon after that, as I was tired and I needed to get to sleep before it got any later in the morning.

I left with a smile on my face and the happy knowledge that I'd be missed by those still at the party

June 30 - Summer's Here!

Holy Moly, it's hot outside!

Today was a day spent outside, worshiping the sun and trying not to get fried in the process.
A friend came over after lunch and we went for walk through Beacon Hill Park over to the Beacon Hill Drive-In for a small lunch and then some ice cream. It was a lovely walk through the park, with all the green grass not yet brown and the riot of colors bursting in their profusion from the many flowerbeds that are all over the park. The burgers were a bit of a disappointment, but the ice cream was wonderful; the Beacon had just won the best ice cream in Victoria award a few weeks ago and it's quite true. The heat made my root beer cone melts all too quickly however and it's lasted only as far as the stairs to the beach. We spent a little time on the rocks there, enjoying the cool breeze from the sea and the lulling susurration of the waves on the boulders below.


That it was time to head back to Cook Street Village, where we spent another hour on the patio at Moka House. I had to suggest we head out of the sun after that however, as it was simply too hot and I was so covered in sweat that it was pooling before it could evaporate, which I've had happened only a few times before - a sure sign that I was far too hot. We got some good training time in for our IT classes before the light started to fade and we caught the last light of a glorious sunset outside just as we were calling it a day.

A very good day in my opinion, one that I hope I'll repeat more often this summer.

It's already Canada Day as I write this blog and yes, it's a day late; it's a holiday weekend and I felt I needed a day off - so there. I imagine most people who will read this blog have spent today thoroughly enjoying themselves and they'll catch up on things tomorrow, just as I will. Have a great week!