Sunday 19 February 2012

Valentine's, Victory and Validation


The word of the week is validation.

Feb 13 - Car scams!

I learned something new today, or rather more about something I suspected to be rather commonplace in larger cities( or even smaller ones ): automotive insurance scams. I've seen automotive video recorders available for a while from various sites, for relatively low amounts of money, ridiculously low in face, when you consider the cost of losing a scam settlement. What are these frauds about, exactly? Well, in the main they involve scam artist drivers who force you to collide with their car, usually at low speed, then attempt to extort a settlement from you outside of insurance, threatening to call the police to report YOUR "poor driving" that caused the collision. In most cases of a rear collision, it is presumed to be the FOLLOWING vehicle's fault. There's quite a few common car-related insurance scams to watch out for, all of which would benefit from a recording camera being present. Be aware and alert as you drive( as always! )and have a look at one driver's experience below - he was VERY pleased he had a camera running that day:





Feb 14 - FORK IT and Calvin

Last week I wrote about how it is that I am single. Today is Valentine's Day and to be honest, I'm just ignoring the whole thing, rather than getting upset or otherwise worked up. I understand that for two people, it's a big day, and for others it's a day to celebrate their love for others... but frankly, it's always been a Hallmark Holiday for me, smack dab between Christmas and Easter. A good way to move chocolate, mushy cards and expensive dinner reservations.

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As to how it applies to me, I prefer to focus on the upbeat: I'm happily single, I'm happy to be me and I don't "need" anyone to complete that picture. If I felt like there was half of me missing, I'd feel pretty silly really... and that's a terribly heartsick way to go through life which has so much to offer everyone. Sure, I'd love to meet Someone Special someday, but look at that wording: Special. No way am I going to 'settle' for someone so as not to have an 'empty' home of my own; that way lies unhappiness for both people. Nope, instead I'll focus on my own happiness and not pretend that it can be found at the bottom of a chocolate heart or some other wildly out-of-tune fantasy.

Feb 15 - Brooding Kings

Some images speak to me, as some of you may have noticed from the ones I've posted to my Fbook account in the last few weeks( noticeably lacking are ones in poor taste or poorly drawn ). One image in particular that has always resonated with me is that of Conan The King, sitting brooding on his throne - no longer called a barbarian to his face, he wears a crown with a glower:
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This then, is the end of his journey? Having overcome unthinkable odds, fought battles that spawned a hundred legends and now his sword gathers dust, instead of the heads of his enemies? I've always thought of this as a metaphor for the hard-fought journey, for one who has always had to overcome what fights you step by step, with a goal that may not be in focus but comes suddenly after far too many battles... and doesn't sit well with you once you have it. Clarity, focus and determination should all come together to bring you to where you WANT to be... not where you THOUGHT you wanted to be at the start. Learning from the journey and adjusting your path is the measure of a person, not their strength or skills or stubbornness, for if a barbarian takes the throne without learning from their path, a barbarian is who they will still be, no matter how fine the crown or golden the throne.

Feb 16 - Facebook Validation

Yes, I tend to be a bit of a pack-rat, both with physical stuff and with my data; I've kept things tucked away on my PC from back in the early 90's. For good reason; apart from photos, I have some stories, important( to me )emails, as well as some journal entries. Twenty years back, I discovered that I had some mild validation issues, in that I yearned( unrealistically )for people to validate that I was doing, which is false: seeking external validation for what you do means you will NEVER be satisfied, despite success of any order. I overcame that and moved on... until Facebook arrived. When I found myself again at the mercy of validation, especially these last few weeks when I have been in front of my PC far more than normal of a day. Waiting for a little FBook notification to pop up stating that people have paid attention to my creative efforts... or not, which can make one a tad crestfallen. Yet is this what we have come to? Waiting for other people to notice that you're spending MORE time on Facebook? Having realized that, I've decided to do what I do regardless of the feedback, which really only validates one thing: that other people are spending too much time in front of their computers as well. Funny, that...

Feb 17 - Job Hunting

Yes, I have been looking for jobs every day for the last few weeks, with little to show for my efforts. Sure, there are Joe Jobs to take, but at this point I don't want to bag groceries or serve fast food - there may come a point where that is all that is available, but I am actively pursuing my network of contacts to find work other than what's listed as 'immediate' various places. One site I was told to check out was Indeed.ca, which indeed was a great place to find up-to-date job listings, moreso than places like Monster.ca or BCjobs.ca, which are where I've checked many times before.

It's interesting, being without a job for the first time in my life. I liken it to leaving school, in a way: you go from a place you've come to know VERY well and gotten used to, to then step outside your comfort zone and have to make decisions based on very little information. It's the fear of the unknown that rattles a lot of people; in my case, I KNEW with utter certainty that ANYTHING was better than the place where I was, so I took some comfort in that. Now I am looking to find a work BALANCE: a job where I can do well, perform to my ability levels and a little beyond... and leave it ALL at work at the end of the day, so I can be freer to pursue my real interests. I'll speak in the future about how much I've enjoyed reading Career Success Without A Real Job, whose cover catchphrase "The Career Book for People Too Smart to Work in Corporations" practically lasered itself into my eyeballs when I saw it on the bookshelf. The section on writing in particular was fascinating; stay tuned!

Feb 18 - Honour and Gaming Beers

this afternoon I was out on the town; more specifically, I was at The Moon Under Water pub in downtown Victoria( more the outskirts, but what the hey ). I was there for my first meeting of a local Victoria gaming club, which actually consists of people who are in the business of creating video games - how cool is THAT? It was a local meet-and-greet, where everyone could talk a little shop and generally get to know people. I had a blast in the hours I was there, picking up some great job-seeking tips as well as meeting new people - exactly what I wanted to do! The beer headache even delayed itself until later; quite honestly I'm finding the less often I drink, the less I really enjoy it, headaches aside. But as for the group, it was a great experience and I'll definitely be at the next one in a month's time, barring a new job, of course.

Of the evening, I caught The Last Samurai on TV and after a few minutes couldn't change the channel; not that Tom Cruise is compelling, but I found the notions of honour and loyalty explored in the film very gripping. Also, the battle scenes were lavish and I found there was a distinct lack of 'Hollywood Heavy-Handedness' in the way the story was presented, apart from the conceit of having Cruise's western-warrior character as central to the story. Even that was forgivable, with the overall excellence of the film's total presentation. All these years and I had never bothered to see it; my bad!

Feb 19 - Family

Today's entry won't be about the six hours I spent playing BF3 online, despite the not-bad score levels with friends and a general lack of teeth-gnashing.

Instead, today is about family, rather appropriate seeing as tomorrow is Family Day in Ontario. In one's life, especially mine, family is the single most important thing on my list of Things That Are Important, by a wide margin. Success, money, material things... all those take a far place from family, from which we derive Self, Happiness, Love... and many other critical things in life.

Yet family is not forever. Today, I found out that a friend's parent is dying; they won't last the day, in fact. My friend's been overwrought, as another of his close family members is also in the midst of passing, so there's an ENORMOUS burden on them right now. Which is eased a little by the presence of other family members, who are there to support and nurture each other through these crisis's, which are inevitable: eventually, we will all be gone from this place. We have to make the most of the time we have here, to say all the things that should NOT remain unsaid, not to let barriers of indifference or intolerance or distance grow up thorny and untended between us. Family shapes us, cares for us, remembers our good deeds and forgives us our missteps and will carry on with us in our hearts after we are gone.

For that and many more reasons, I am hopeful that my friend will find the strength he needs in family, as well as friends, to make it through this heavy burden of time and emerge from it the better. It pains me there is little that I can do than offer my support, my love and my listening ear despite the distance... for really, in the end, what else can we do for each other, but this?

Well, I received my final pay from MMart this past Friday, so I'm done with that place - at least they didn't screw THAT up, thankfully, though almost 1/3 of it vanished in taxes. *sigh* Now I wait for EI to make up their minds, hopefully THIS week, while I search and relax and generally try to ENJOY my time off. For this week, that means getting out each day for some exercise!