The word of the week is malaise.
October 22 - The Empire Strikes Back, in PAL?
It's strange in this age of abundant information, that I
still find myself surprised when I come across new information about what I
loved as a child.
Back in those pre-net days, ANY source of information about
Star Wars was a revelation. I read official magazines, subscribed to a few fan
rags and watched every 'making of' and 'Behind the scenes' TV special I could
find. I thought I'd seen everything there was to know about the original Star
Wars Trilogy, but I forgot something important:
Star Wars was( and is )a global phenomenon.
Meaning that specials like this one from Holland were made
and NOT SEEN by people elsewhere. This is Part One; you can click to YouTube
and the list on the right should have Making EMpire(dutch)02 to show the last
5 minutes. It's damn good stuff, probably even better if you speak Dutch:
October 23 - Feedback!
It wasn't the day that had me excited: I spent most of it in
two WorkBC seminars about resume's - not that exciting.
No, it was my trip to the Garrick's Head Pub in the evening
that I was really looking forward to. Why?
Feedback on my novel, of course!
Talking with a friend over beers about the second draft of my
novel was incredible, especially as he had a LOT of GREAT feedback to give! My
ears were open and I was prepared for anything, but to hear him talk about the
world and the characters I had created with such curious reverence was spectacular!
Even though he was only a hundred pages in, his comments told me
that I hadn't wasted all that time writing. He knew who the characters all
were, what they were up to, what the world was about, who the factions were and
a myriad of other details that I had woven together into what I hoped was a
good story.
As we talked, I had to fight to keep an
idiotic smile off my face, as most every word lifted me to new heights of
authorial bliss. I felt my worries about the story being derivative or too
complex melting away and I felt, for the first time, the glow that someone
feels when they've done the best job they are capable of... and they are told
that not in words, but in the satisfied smiles of people reading their work.
I barely felt the sidewalk under my feet as I walked home
late - I was lifted by the wings of my story.
October 24 - Detached Dreams
I have never dreamed of love.
It's odd. My dreams are not like other people's, from what
I've heard when the subject comes up. I don't have nightmares, for one, not
since I was a very small boy. I decided then that I didn't like nightmares and
ever since I've been free of those terrors. It's not lucid dreaming per se, as
I don't manifest control in my dreams that I'm aware of... but I haven't woken
in a terrified sweat for many decades now.
But love? Never. I dream of places, of people, of weird and
fantastic worlds mixed in with twists on the mundane, but much like nightmares,
love doesn't enter my dreams.
That bothers me on some level, as I can't discern a reason
for it. Maybe my subconscious sees it as more of an abstract, as I've never
really experienced a 'love event' in my life, so it doesn't know how to
manifest one in a dream - save in a surreal, movie-like manner. Maybe it's the
intellectual longing I feel, in that the minds I try to connect to in my dreams
are far more important than their physical forms. Yet I do dream of beauty, in
all its forms... yet nothing in a form I know has a heart I can touch.
October 25 - Friendship
I thought I'd share a little of my thoughts this week, that
have percolated up through the muse of my mind.
For whatever reason, friendship has been on my thoughts of
late. To me, there are three stages of friendships that form, best illustrated
by school, of all things.
In grade school, friendships form honestly. Kids find each
other without pretense, stating their interests and likes and hanging around
with others who share the same. Friendships formed at this age, to me, seem
like those that are the most lasting, as you are basing them on your true self
before the world has much of a say in shaping you.
High school introduces a whole slew of factors, much of a
different world than before. Here, people learn to bias themselves, stating a
whole slew of dislikes and adjusting their social world accordingly. Sadly, I
think this is the worst time to make friends, in that so few people can fit
inside these self-formed blinders. If you do make lasting friends at this age,
you may find that later in life you don't share too many things in common.
University almost hearkens back to grade school, in that
honesty comes back into play again. Yet it is tempered by knowledge and the
hopefully- developed ability to discern what people are about, underneath their
public faces. Shared interests tempered by the desire for honesty AND the
ability to see such for the truth mean that friendships formed at this stage of
your life are fairly lasting, in the main.
There you have it. As I'm not well-versed on forming
friendships outside of work, I won't speak on that... life after university for
me was very, very challenging for me personally and so perhaps I've missed out
on another stage of friendship. Yet I could be in the middle of another one, so
stay tuned - life is always evolving and changing, just like you.
October 26 - Clouded Atlas?
Quite honestly, whatever else I did today didn't matter:
tonight was the premier of Cloud Atlas!
Not having read the book ahead of time( on purpose ), I went
into the film with an open mind. Three hours later, I walked out with mixed
feelings, which is odd for seeing it on an IMAX screen.
I didn't dislike the film, let's be clear on that. But
neither was I overwhelmed with it... I think a lot of other people thought it
was too long or too complex, but those weren't issues for me. No, I liked the
complex plotlines, the multiple characters, the widely varied settings and the
twisting dialogue. All together though, it didn't add up to something that was
life-changing, or even Very Impressive.
I think the best praise I can give to the film is that I
will get it on DVD( or BluRay )and watch it carefully, to get ALL the subtle
details I glimpsed in the theatre. Being someone who can process a lot of
visual information, there's a lot buried in the film that I believe will make
it a better viewing the second time around. And you don't have a pause button
in the theatre, so there's something to be said for that.
October 27 - Party Time!
It was a funny day that dragged in parts and hopped by in
others. I played some BL2 but had to stop as my wrists were hurting more than
they should, so I took a brief break and went to Moka House that turned into a good
two hours sitting on the patio. Which was great, as the glass roof and the
heaters made the sunless gloom of pouring rain into an enchanting experience of
watching water wash the world over the top of a steaming pot of tea. Lovely.
The evening saw me head out for a Halloween party, arriving
a half-hour early so I could help with the party setup( unasked; I like to do
that sort of thing ). Turns out that people didn't start showing up for another
hour AFTER that, so I spent the time very pleasantly getting to know the hosts.
Once people started arriving( all of us in costume )things really took off and
by 9pm nearly two dozen people were packed into the stylish apartment near Oak
Bay, My costume was a hit, alternately creeping people out and impressing them:
 |
| This is the least creepy photo of my costume I could find. |
I billed myself as a 'World Of Warcraft Reject' which
apparently went over so well that I won Funniest Costume - go figure! Other
people told me that it was the scariest costume there and I had to agree; the
mask disturbs me even under bright light. I do feel bad that it was essentially
the same costume that I wore five years ago, but needs must: this year I've had
no money to spend and quite frankly with no budget and nowhere to go to, I had
no incentive to 'make' anything. But getting the invitation this week from
Merrie meant I had a blast tonight; walking home in full costume was awkward but
SO worth it... at least two people crossed the street when they saw me coming.
Happy Early Halloween, Victoria!
October 28 - Magic Malaise
As the people upstairs didn't bang things around until well
after 1am like Saturday I actually slept fairly well. But I still found myself
slogging around for half the day with no energy, likely due to the lack of
sunshine, so-so diet( I need more fruit and veggies! )and a general malaise
that's set in from Not Being Employed.
It's really strange, but if you give me free time, I don't
want it in more than two-week chunks. Sure, there's a lot I COULD be doing
while I am 'free' from a job, but being the person I am, I feel compelled to do
ALL that I can to GET back to work. I don't liken it to being lazy... it's more
like that whatever I'm doing seems less important than finding work.
Transferring my DVD's onto my PC or scanning my book collection into GoodReads
sound like great ideas, but I get a few minutes in and I have to stop because
of that feeling. I suppose it's drive, of a sort, but it's stopping me from
'enjoying my vacation from work' if you want to put it that way. Which really,
when you think about it, has only been since October 14th 2012, as I was
decompressing from MMart, dealing with my arm injury, moving from Langford and
writing my novel( first AND second draft )since
Feb 1st 2012 - rather busy,
wouldn't you say?
So tonight, I took my friend Merrie( a former co-worker )up
on her offer to head to her place, where her boyfriend and some other nice folk
were having a friendly game of Magic: The Gathering. I'd given my cards all
away back when I moved to BC( they were incredibly outdated and very basic
anyway )so I had to try to pick up things again with a loaner deck.
Which I did with a vengeance! I won my first game through good card draws and bad ones for my opponents, which felt great. The second game I played as a member of a pair, which saw us lose to an 'undead' deck rather quickly. Spending hours and hours each week building decks was never my thing back in university and though I saw its effectiveness tonight, I'm not inclined to go out and start picking up Magic cards. I wasn't back then either; I'm much more about the social aspect of a gathering than about winning or losing. After two games, I spent the rest of the eve helping to carve a pumpkin into the likeness of Jack Skellington, which turned out great! The secret? Let someone else handle the details with a sharp knife AND light the semi-finished carving from inside with a bright light to get the final details perfect. I'll post a pic of it next week, I hope!
For some weird, unknown reason, my FireFox has stopped
working - it just won't start. Seeing as I've had it customized just the way I
like it, this is intensely frustrating. I'm going to have to fight with it this
week and I sincerely hope that I don't have to lose all my information and
customization by rein stalling it. For now, Chrome is making do... but oh, it
does NOT like too many open tabs!
