The word of the week is finale.
Dec 26 - Friendship
Boxing Day was something I skipped again this year, though some other people stood in line at 6am for some good bargains - not me, as I already managed to score a sweet new TV this fall despite some crazy-making machinations( on Oct 27th ) to get it. No, I just worked today( it was steady, not busy )and went home only a little tired.
Today was instead about friends; I received an email from a good friend about my decision to leave the soul-and-body-killing job I have now to strike out into the unknown. They were incredibly supportive, relating stories of similar choices from their own life and how those choices to jump into the wild have paid off in spades - they are doing what they want to do, on their own terms, and doing more than just surviving day to day. I spoke to them on the phone later in the evening, again just thrilled that I am so lucky to have people of such quality in my life; I don't think I do nearly as much for others as they do for me. I try to be the best person I can be, the best friend I can be and take what comes from that with as much grace and dignity as I can manage. Apparently it's the right thing to do, as I still have many fantastic friends!
Though I still manage somehow to forget the occasional birthday. :-/
Dec 27 - Aaron visits!
True friendship stands the test of time; despite the years between meetings, friends for life will meet as though only days have passed since you last met. Such was the case with my friend Aaron today, who went out of his way to visit me here in Victoria for a few hours, over from Vancouver. I picked him up from the bus station and drove out to Langford, where we had lunch at The Fountain Diner( delicious pancakes! )and then took a quick trip to see my place on Bear Mountain. We talked all the while about life in general, catching up( sometimes awkwardly on my part )and really enjoyed each other's company - again, the mark of a true friend. It really felt like only a few weeks since I'd last seen him, though in truth it had been over 6 years, at his wedding. Having friends like Aaron makes life worthwhile, as they reflect on your own worth: like finds like, and in this case we've found each other for life. That is beyond price and worth crossing continents for, in my mind.
Dec 28 - Respect at work? Too late.
While I was at work today, I received a call from another work DM I've worked with elsewhere in BC; apparently he heard through the grapevine in HR that I was leaving and wanted to talk to me - not talk me out of it, just talk. I was impressed that I'd made an impression on him and we jawed about various work issues for a good half-hour while I sat outside in my van, watching the rain soak the Island as it has all week. He mentioned quite a few things that I had suspected, that all was not sunshine in the company and that it was making 'incredible' people such as myself jump ship. I was friendly and tactful, as I respect this particular DM and kept things to topics that I could comment on without being bitter, just truthful. It was an insightful and illuminating conversation that I could have used five years ago, though it would not have made a difference to my paycheque or to the direction the company would still have taken. No, it was the level of respect for my abilities, skills and experience I think that I was thankful for the most, things that until this call I had never thought anyone in MMart would acknowledge in any more than the most shallowly briefest of mentions. It made me feel good, in that the decision to leave IS the right one, that I have rightly sensed the ship is sinking by the captain's own hand and it is time to set sail on my own.
Dec 29 - 15 years ago, snow!
There's been none of the white stuff( snow... )in Victoria so far this winter, which is part of the point of living here. I've only met a few locals who expressed a wish for a white Christmas; the rest seem quite content not to have to don boots and grab snow shovels every few days for months at a time. Yet every year is different; back in 1996, Victoria broke a ton of records for the most snowfall in 24 hours, even worse than when I was here in 2008. They called it a 'Whitemare' though I don't think it was as bad as the Blizzard of '77, which was called 'The White Death' - I remember it as a small child, being pulled on a sled along the center of our street. The snow was piled so high in continuous banks that I couldn't see even the tops of houses the entire trip to the corner store; we had a pile on our front lawn that was turned into a snow fort that was the last thing to melt anywhere around. That was cool.
Dec 30 - Hard-won wisdom
Here's some hard-earned wisdom for you, that I thought I'd pass along at the end of this, one of the hardest years of my life. There's been many a difficult year, but none of them have put me under the physical and emotional stress that this one has, at almost continuous levels.
Which is where the wisdom comes in: experience. If you are presented with a problem and deal with it, you learn for the next time. If it's an emotional stress, then you'll have that in your toolkit when dealing with similar situations, be they of the heart or of the mind( especially love ).
That's it - simple. If you haven't had to deal with a situation before, you'll survive it( believe you will )and the next time you'll go into it knowing you've licked it before. Nobody likes dealing with the unknown, but it gets easier with time... and experience.
Dec 31 - Novel New Year's Eve
The last day of the year should always be a time of reflection, as well as of celebration. Nowadays it's more of the former than the latter, and tonight was no exception; after work, I stayed in... not having any invites to go out also contributed to that decision, too. I used the time to relax and to polish off the novel outline I'd been working on for the last three months, which didn't amount to much new work, just a lot of tidying. Most of it had been percolating in my pickled brain since the end of August( and before )so most of my evening was a relaxed re-working of some solid ideas into a whole. Which turned out to be something I was quite happy with, re-reading - there's room for depth, action, character development and a happy half-dozen other things that all combine into good novel material. I dislike being constrained in my material, and with this outline I think I can really stretch my writing skills to bring the reader along for a close ride with my creations.
Old Year shuffles past,
Patting New Year on the head.
"You'll do just fine, kid."
I watched the ball drop in Niagara Falls on live TV, too. And I listened to Zooey Deschanel sing a lovely duet about New Year's Eve, have a listen:
Jan 1 - New Beginnings And Tattoos
The first day of a new year; 2012 should see MANY positive changes in my life, most of them by MY choice, for a change. A month from now I will be happily( if a little nervously )unemployed, freeing up my time to pursue my writing ambitions. I'll also be looking for a new job, which will coincide with a true career search - more and more, customer service seems to be unappealing, as I want to leverage my skills along WITH my creativity and so try to avoid trading one stressful job for another. I'll also be working on my social life, checking out local groups to join and places to meet people, whom I'll be showing a much truer vision of myself to than the sad, exhausted, angry, emotional zombie I've been for the last few years. Happiness is change!
At noon I saw The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo with a friend; we both agreed it was an unhappy tale with a LOT of hard-to-watch scenes, that also spoke about the possibility of redemption in a harsh world. The film was quite dark visually and story-wise, I have to say; I didn't read the books, and I still may not for a while. Definitely NOT a date movie! That didn't stop me from enjoying the rest of the evening in NWN; part of my day earlier was spent watching back-to-back episodes of Avatar: The Last Airbender, which is a well-written cartoon series that encompasses the changes happening in an interesting world where the four elements define each of the nations involved in a developing struggle for power. The series is MUCH better than the 2010 movie( utter crap )so if you want to watch a quality story develop with interesting characters, have a go.
A positive new year begins - watch this space for good news in 2012!!!!
