The word of the week is introspection.
February 25 - Computer XP
Today after I woke up, I helped a couple in my building buy a new computer.
I had previously diagnosed their old PC as having a bad
power supply and backed up all their photos immediately before it died
completely. Today's trip was out to my new workplace, where I surprised the day
staff by showing off all the sun was still shining. It was nice to be able to
demonstrate my computer expertise in front of several staff while still helping
my neighbors get what they needed without overspending.
There's still a few tearoff tabs left on the poster that I
have up in the building and I hope that I'll get a few more calls this week
from people needing my assistance. It's a familiar and simple thing for me to
do, helping folks with their basic computer problems and it's something I can
do in addition to a regular day job and my other activities such as freelancing
or getting my other companies up and running.
Plus, it just feels good to be able to help people so easily
with my expertise. I know from experience that running my own computer store
would be a difficult thing, as the margins are so low, so I've never considered
it as something I could do full-time. All the same, I'd like to be busy enough
with these side jobs that I could consider them a solid part-time job in
addition to whatever day job I end up with; that'd be fantastic!
February 26 - Improvement!
As it this week's blog seems to be all about me and rather introspective
at that, I'll diverge a little bit here and talk about my wrists in particular.
The new job seems to be doing wonders for my wrists, at
least in terms of daily discomfort. A month ago I couldn't do most tasks
without some aching pain after a short period of time depending on what I was
doing.
Now, after lifting boxes and stocking shelves for two weeks,
my wrists seem to have been gently flexed enough that I'm not in pain at all
after a night's work. This is wonderful news to me and though I still feel some
aches here and there during my day, they are in no way comparable to the ones I
had up until this point that required daily icing to reduce to manageable
levels.
In some ways, it's as though this job was meant to be just
what I needed at this time in many ways. It's done my wrists good, it's eased
me back into the work world without having to suffer 'new job shock' syndrome
and done so in a way that I don't have to deal with customers, which I've
mentioned before as a stress factor.
The biggest thing though is my wrists; the fact that I can
now lift fairly heavy boxes without my tendinitis flaring up means that things
can only improve from here as long as I keep a very close eye on what I'm doing
every moment when I am lifting. I'm just thrilled to see such a rapid
improvement and I'll be adding some gentle exercises to further return my
wrists to normal function by this summer, I hope, about a year and a half after
I first injured them in 2012. That's right on the time estimate that the doctor
gave me this past August and I think that my new job is perfect timing all
around for that.
February 27 - Thirds
If you've ever wondered about what I write in this blog and
why I write it, here's a little insight.
The main reason I read the blog is to allow my family and
friends from all over to keep up with what I do; it's like an online journal in
that way. No surprises there.
I also like to write down my thoughts and feelings here, so
that I can refer back to them later. As well, they perform in a cathartic
manner, as I am making them concrete by setting them down in this written form.
However, I thought recently about how much does and doesn't
go into this blog. I'm a fairly sharp person and there's always a lot of
thought going on behind my eyes, even apart from the regular daily stresses and
worries that bedevil us all. My mind operates on many levels, observing and
filing and comparing things alongside the various thought processes as I'm
interacting with the challenges of the day.
That said, I write down only about a third of what's going
on every week in my head and in my life. Another of the missing thirds are the
petty concerns and daily trials that we all face in dealing with life in
general - not including making shopping lists or laundry, because those things
almost never merit a mention unless you find money along the way to either.
The last third are things that no one will ever see,
thoughts that would normally only ever make it into a journal, except I don't
keep a journal anymore. Back in the 1990s, I kept one for several years but
stopped as soon as I realized it had become a place where I simply scribbled my
complaints… and it reads as such to me whenever I get up the courage to page
through every few years. For some people, journals and diaries are wonderful
things, where you can have a conversation with your past self or your future
self, depending on how you write and what you want to write about. For me, this
blog serves that function, as well as several others, but in the main I keep
things positive here and in most respects I feel that I've succeeded in
tracking and upwards journey towards a brighter future, one blog entry at a
time.
February 28 - Loose pants!
Once every month or so, I weigh myself as a matter of
course.
This time, as I stepped on the scales I was shocked to see
that I have lost 7 pounds since the end of January! This is highly unusual for
me as I don't gain or lose weight all that quickly and certainly not as much as
this in so short a time.
It looks like the combination study physical labor and
working nights along with a slightly inadequate diet for the calories I've been
expanding is to blame. Adding cycling to work and back home again several times
a week probably figures in their too.
So I've upped my food intake as well as increased the number
times and eating each day in order to compensate. They are all healthy meals
and I've included a nutritional shake along with several fruits, so I shouldn't
see any more weight loss and I should get back some of my lost body mass in the
next few weeks. It will be a healthy weight gain, as I can already feel my
muscles tightening and strengthening from the work I've been doing every night;
it's like a slow work out for eight hours and I'm ensuring I don't strain
myself trying to overdo things. All the same I'll be weighing myself weekly to
keep an eye on things until I return to my regular weight.
March 1 - Still Nights
Spring is here in Victoria, right on schedule. Blossoms are
appearing everywhere, the grass is green and the sun has been shining brightly
in between the long bouts of rain watering all the plants.
It also looks like I'll be on nights for several more weeks.
Staples has so far been unable to find anyone else to work
midnights, which I'm not really surprised at as both previous times I've worked
the graveyard shift it proved very difficult to get anyone hired in a timely
manner. I calculate that I have probably a few months until I can no longer do
nights, when my body finally gets to the point where it won't function normally
unless I return to a daytime schedule.
I sincerely hope that replacement staff have been hired by
then, as I really want to go to daytime and so continue my employment with
Staples. I'll keep thinking positively and hoping that with the current job
market, several other people will get the call as I will and decide that
working is better than taking a handout. I most certainly do not want to
continue on nights and find myself still slogging away under the midnight sun
six months from now.
Which means I'll still be looking for a job, just in case.
All the same, I've really been enjoying my time at Staples and I'll do all I
can to stay there while collecting a steady paycheck as long as possible.
March 2 - Fitness
My Spring exercise program starts this coming week.
Every other day I'll be running soon after I wake up in the
afternoon, to accustom myself to the routine. The local part is nearby with the
perfect mix of running surfaces including lovely cedar-wood chip paths.
In addition to the running, I have a friend who will be
helping me begin a weight training regimen. Initially, the focus will be on
allowing me to work with weights without injuring myself and especially without
injuring my wrists. I've never been a member of a gym before or worked out
seriously with weights so this will be a new experience for me. I've been told
many times that I have an ideal frame for lifting weights and although I have
no desire to turn myself into a professional bodybuilder, I do want to improve
my physical appearance, at least to the point where I'm fit and can decide
where to go from there.
With the cardio workout from running, alternating with
cycling to work and back and the gym workouts, I should be in fairly decent
shape by this summer. Who knows? I may even end up getting a tan and looking
good on the beach… Though that means that actually have to get DOWN to the
beach more often than my current never.
March 3 - Still waters
Earlier this week, I was feeling rather down, but that was
my own fault.
As I've mentioned before, I tend to think a lot, to the
point where I'm over thinking too many things and the worries start to get
together to cause me trouble.
Changing one's perspective is a hard thing, one most people
shy away from as it's far easier continuous old habits and to form new ones
even if they're better for you.
I'm not talking about dietary habits, though those are
important as well. No, I'm talking about thinking habits and perceptual habits,
both of which are things that are hard to conceptualize let alone implement if
you're not in the right frame of mind.
For the longest time, I've been reactionary and realistic,
both of which are functions of survival and not conducive to living or
achieving one's great dreams. I'm slowly seeing that thought can influence and
become action, all dependent on one's perception of the reality you choose to
inhabit. My reality for so long has been one confined by responsibility and
defined by a lack of personal goal setting beyond my family's immediate needs.
It's time to change that; past time, really.
Completing my novel this past fall is just the first step
along my journey towards a personal future that I have to focus on defining,
but now I can see that there is a light ahead, instead of just a formless fog
that I saw for the longest time, even after coming here to BC. My responsibility
to my family has now diminished to the point where I can make out a shape in
the fog that I recognize: it's me, holding the light, beckoning me towards a
future where I have found my true self.
This has been the most thoughtful I've been in a long while... we'll see if next week sees me return to my usual habits, or if I'll write more of the same.
