The word of the week is languish.
April 16 - How's it going?
Things are proceeding apace hereabouts... albeit slowly.
Nothing new on the job front: I apply, I wait, I get rejected and told that I didn't make any Eligibility-Callback lists... then I apply for new positions, and so on. Next week I'll be crafting resumes for three positions, sending them first off to a co-worker who has great experience in navigating the persnickety filter-heavy world of government job applications... so I hope that will help better my chances.
Glowforge-wise: I've decided to wait until June, when the air filter( necessary for indoor non-vented use )will be ready to ship... and by then I'll have the money set aside for either (a) shipping it to me or (b) picking both the filter and main unit up from the USA. Of the two, the second option is better, as it's cheaper by $300 USD all-told than paying the shipping to Canada, even factoring in the cost of a ferry trip... and taxes / duties are due on either option, of course.
Writing-wise: I'm waiting for May to arrive, because sometime in that merry month Baen books will have their Live Slush Reading, which will include my novel's manuscript! Who knows what the result will be, but I'm excited for it! In the interim, I'm continuing to plug away at editing the draft, polishing it further...
Health-wise: I'm walking to work regularly, doing 10,000 steps a day with no issue; swimming twice a week has really limbered up my left foot and I'm feeling the benefits in the rest of my body as well. I'm planning on keeping up the swim schedule for the summer, at least until I can gently get back onto my exercise bike in a month or so and see how that goes. Seeing as the bike has sat unused in my apartment for almost 18 months now, I'd rather use it than keep paying $4/swim over the rest of the year, which adds up of a month.
Finance-wise: don't ask, as usual. Each month is its own challenge...
April 17 - Cherophobia
What are you scared of?
For me, it's only a few things: failure, death, and not reaching my potential. Maybe a dash of being wrong and losing my mental faculties in there too.
But am I also scared of being... happy?
It's a valid question, asking if I have cherophobia:
Of all the things listed above, the only one that I know I do semi-regularly is "thinking something bad will happen" if I'm happy, akin to the old adage "don't jinx it!" when people say things like "Everything's going great!" and the like.
Cherophobia isn't depression, and I see that, but I also see that not being able to take joy in the moment, in success, is a bad habit that's easy for me to fall into sometimes. Like any bad habit, being aware of it means you can watch for it and step around that trap when it rears its frowny face.
Smile: it's that easy, if you know what to look for.
April 18 - Letting it R.A.I.N.
This seemed appropriate as above, given the weather this week: rather blah.
When you're feeling overwhelmed by life at times, as we all experience, there's some useful( and simple! )tools you can use to get a handle on things.
One such is R.A.I.N. which stands for Recognize, Accept, Investigate and Not-Accept, as follows:
I like quick checklists, as they're easy to remember in most every stressful situation, and act as a 'safety' to let you step back to view a situation rationally instead of allowing things to steamroller you into actions you might regret.
Think before you act, and let it rain...
April 19 - Stoics
I've been doubting myself yet again this week, and I shouldn't.
As always, I keep running the budget numbers, looking ahead to see where I can make this or that purchase work, while avoiding running out of things like supplements, T/P, household supplies and food.
Is this adulthood? Is this success?
What am I missing out on, that so many other people are doing?
I'll get into that next week, as it's a whole 'nother post and I want to stop the line of inquiry at just taking stock of your life... of paying attention to how you're living it.
Few people in history were better at such than Marcus Aurelius, Emperor of Rome from between 161 and 180 AD. His collected writings can be found in Meditations, and are a fantastic read, one which I'll be digging into again for the first time in decades this coming week...
For now, I'll leave you with 14 of his solid stoic quotes, taken from a larger article and themselves pulled from Meditations, which I highly recommend...
April 20 - Vacation!
I officially started ten days of vacation today, the first of 2018 for me!
All the same, I was still up at 6:30am to go swimming, then have breakfast, which was a treat for me: the end of this month is going to be very tight, so much so that I'll be spending my vacation at home, with no forays out save for a cheap tea on a patio once or twice, weather-permitting - no room in the budget for cookies, at that.
Lunch was spent at my parent's place, visiting and assisting them with their tech: I moved their wifi to get a better signal in the far end of their condo, tidied up their computers and made my few hours there generally well-spent.
As I'd been developing a headache starting just after breakfast( weather... )I carefully took just a half-Asprin, as I had to meet a friend at 3pm for a day-off drink at Fire and Water... and neither Tylenol nor Ibuprofen mix well with alcohol. My friend and I have a highly-g33ky chat for a few hours, with a bonus two beers for me on his tab( thanks, man! )as he felt bad for having cancelled our previous two day-off chats. Free beers and great conversation = a great start to my vacation!
All the same, I spent the evening at home with earplugs and the blinds drawn to wait things out. I ended up watching half of the original TRON on Netflix, which to my surprise turned out to be the full-HD restored version with uber-crisp graphics - another bonus, and a lovely way to wind down my day sans headache.
April 21 - Locker Library?
I think I'll take a trip to the library this week, to get a few books.
As much as it pains me to admit, I haven't been there in years, not since moving back to Victoria in 2012. I enjoyed getting books from the Langford branch, as it kept me entertained with the latest scifi books... but I slacked off once I was back in the city proper: too busy trying to find work, and so forth.
Mind you, I LOVE libraries, and shudder to think what life would be like without them... or if any of my schools had banned books when I was growing up, like what seems to happen regularly elsewhere in the world, including the USA.
Some people though, are heroes - they fight back against banning books:
April 22 - Poetic Sounds
My girlfriend is a good cure for much of what might ail me, of a day.
I was feeling rather... blah this morning, thinking about my upcoming vacation-week nee imposed-staycation-due-to-budget, and even though the entire week's weather's supposed to be amazingly sunny and I have tons to occupy my time:
Blah. Negative thoughts lack-of-midlife-success mind-muddle all morning.
That lasted until brunch with my lady: she's that good for me.
We spent the afternoon at her poetry group in the sunny Atrium on Yates, chatting with other poets, followed by some poetry exercises... and my creations were well-received by the other much-better poets!
My best poem was this one, inspired by the Dixit card pictured:
A leisurely dinner, followed by a few hours of blogging and the rest of TRON wrapped up a day that might have started out blah, but ended in an ahhhh... and sans any remains of a headache, too!