The word of the week is languish.
April 16 - How's it going?
Things are proceeding apace hereabouts... albeit slowly.
Nothing new on the job front: I apply, I wait, I get rejected and told that I didn't
make any Eligibility-Callback lists... then I apply for new positions, and so
on. Next week I'll be crafting resumes for three positions, sending them first
off to a co-worker who has great experience in navigating the persnickety
filter-heavy world of government job applications... so I hope that will help
better my chances.
Glowforge-wise: I've decided to wait until June, when the air filter( necessary for indoor non-vented use )will
be ready to ship... and by then I'll have the money set aside for either (a)
shipping it to me or (b) picking both the filter and main unit up from the USA.
Of the two, the second option is better, as it's cheaper by $300 USD all-told
than paying the shipping to Canada, even factoring in the cost of a ferry
trip... and taxes / duties are due on either option, of course.
Writing-wise: I'm waiting for May to arrive, because sometime in that merry month Baen
books will have their Live Slush Reading, which will include my novel's
manuscript! Who knows what the result will be, but I'm excited for it! In the
interim, I'm continuing to plug away at editing the draft, polishing it
further...
Health-wise: I'm walking to work regularly, doing 10,000 steps a day with no issue;
swimming twice a week has really limbered up my left foot and I'm feeling the
benefits in the rest of my body as well. I'm planning on keeping up the swim
schedule for the summer, at least until I can gently get back onto my exercise
bike in a month or so and see how that goes. Seeing as the bike has sat unused
in my apartment for almost 18 months now, I'd rather use it than keep paying
$4/swim over the rest of the year, which adds up of a month.
Finance-wise: don't ask, as usual. Each month is its own challenge...
April 17 - Cherophobia
What are you scared of?
For me, it's only a few things: failure, death, and not reaching my
potential. Maybe a dash of being wrong and losing my mental faculties in there
too.
But am I also scared of being... happy?
It's a valid question, asking if I have cherophobia:
Of all the things listed above, the only one that I know I do
semi-regularly is "thinking something bad will happen" if I'm happy,
akin to the old adage "don't jinx it!" when people say things like
"Everything's going great!" and the like.
Cherophobia isn't depression, and I see that, but I also see that not being
able to take joy in the moment, in success, is a bad habit that's easy for me
to fall into sometimes. Like any bad habit, being aware of it means you can
watch for it and step around that trap when it rears its frowny face.
Smile: it's that easy, if you know what to look for.
April 18 - Letting it R.A.I.N.
This seemed appropriate as above, given the weather this week: rather blah.
When you're feeling overwhelmed by life at times, as we all experience,
there's some useful( and simple! )tools you can use to get a handle on
things.
One such is R.A.I.N. which stands for Recognize, Accept, Investigate and
Not-Accept, as follows:
I like quick checklists, as they're easy to remember in most every
stressful situation, and act as a 'safety' to let you step back to view a
situation rationally instead of allowing things to steamroller you into actions
you might regret.
Think before you act, and let it rain...
April 19 - Stoics
I've been doubting myself yet again this week, and I shouldn't.
As always, I keep running the budget numbers, looking ahead to see where I
can make this or that purchase work, while avoiding running out of things like
supplements, T/P, household supplies and food.
Is this adulthood? Is this success?
What am I missing out on, that so many other people are doing?
I'll get into that next week, as it's a whole 'nother post and I want to
stop the line of inquiry at just taking stock of your life... of paying
attention to how you're living it.
Few people in history were better at such than Marcus Aurelius, Emperor of Rome from between 161 and 180 AD. His collected
writings can be found in Meditations, and are a fantastic read, one
which I'll be digging into again for the first time in decades this coming
week...
For now, I'll leave you with 14 of his solid stoic quotes, taken from a
larger article and themselves pulled from Meditations, which I highly
recommend...
April 20 - Vacation!
I officially started ten days of vacation today, the first of 2018 for me!
All the same, I was still up at 6:30am to go swimming, then have breakfast,
which was a treat for me: the end of this month is going to be very tight, so
much so that I'll be spending my vacation at home, with no forays out save for
a cheap tea on a patio once or twice, weather-permitting - no room in the
budget for cookies, at that.
Lunch was spent at my parent's place, visiting and assisting them with
their tech: I moved their wifi to get a better signal in the far end of their
condo, tidied up their computers and made my few hours there generally
well-spent.
As I'd been developing a headache starting just after breakfast( weather... )I carefully took just a
half-Asprin, as I had to meet a friend at 3pm for a day-off drink at Fire and
Water... and neither Tylenol nor Ibuprofen mix well with alcohol. My friend and
I have a highly-g33ky chat for a few hours, with a bonus two beers for me on
his tab( thanks, man! )as he felt bad for having cancelled our previous
two day-off chats. Free beers and great conversation = a great start to my
vacation!
All the same, I spent the evening at home with earplugs and the blinds
drawn to wait things out. I ended up watching half of the original TRON on Netflix, which to my surprise
turned out to be the full-HD restored version with uber-crisp graphics -
another bonus, and a lovely way to wind down my day sans headache.
April 21 - Locker Library?
I think I'll take a trip to the library this week, to get a few books.
As much as it pains me to admit, I haven't been there in years, not since
moving back to Victoria in 2012. I enjoyed getting books from the Langford
branch, as it kept me entertained with the latest scifi books... but I slacked
off once I was back in the city proper: too busy trying to find work, and so
forth.
Mind you, I LOVE libraries, and shudder to think what life would be like
without them... or if any of my schools had banned books when I was growing up,
like what seems to happen regularly elsewhere in the world, including the USA.
Some people though, are heroes - they fight back against banning books:
April 22 - Poetic Sounds
My girlfriend is a good cure for much of what might ail me, of a day.
I was feeling rather... blah this morning, thinking about my
upcoming vacation-week nee imposed-staycation-due-to-budget, and even though
the entire week's weather's supposed to be amazingly sunny and I
have tons to occupy my time:
Blah. Negative thoughts lack-of-midlife-success mind-muddle all morning.
That lasted until brunch with my lady: she's that good for me.
We spent the afternoon at her poetry group in the sunny Atrium on Yates,
chatting with other poets, followed by some poetry exercises... and my
creations were well-received by the other much-better poets!
My best poem was this one, inspired by the Dixit card pictured:
A leisurely dinner, followed by a few hours of blogging and the rest of TRON wrapped up a day that might have
started out blah, but ended in an ahhhh... and sans any remains
of a headache, too!
