Thoughts, Tendinitis and Thirds

The word of the week is introspection.

February 25 - Computer XP

Today after I woke up, I helped a  couple in my building buy a new computer.

I had previously diagnosed their old PC as having a bad power supply and backed up all their photos immediately before it died completely. Today's trip was out to my new workplace, where I surprised the day staff by showing off all the sun was still shining. It was nice to be able to demonstrate my computer expertise in front of several staff while still helping my neighbors get what they needed without overspending.

There's still a few tearoff tabs left on the poster that I have up in the building and I hope that I'll get a few more calls this week from people needing my assistance. It's a familiar and simple thing for me to do, helping folks with their basic computer problems and it's something I can do in addition to a regular day job and my other activities such as freelancing or getting my other companies up and running.

Plus, it just feels good to be able to help people so easily with my expertise. I know from experience that running my own computer store would be a difficult thing, as the margins are so low, so I've never considered it as something I could do full-time. All the same, I'd like to be busy enough with these side jobs that I could consider them a solid part-time job in addition to whatever day job I end up with; that'd be fantastic!

February 26 - Improvement!

As it this week's blog seems to be all about me and rather introspective at that, I'll diverge a little bit here and talk about my wrists in particular.

The new job seems to be doing wonders for my wrists, at least in terms of daily discomfort. A month ago I couldn't do most tasks without some aching pain after a short period of time depending on what I was doing.

Now, after lifting boxes and stocking shelves for two weeks, my wrists seem to have been gently flexed enough that I'm not in pain at all after a night's work. This is wonderful news to me and though I still feel some aches here and there during my day, they are in no way comparable to the ones I had up until this point that required daily icing to reduce to manageable levels.

In some ways, it's as though this job was meant to be just what I needed at this time in many ways. It's done my wrists good, it's eased me back into the work world without having to suffer 'new job shock' syndrome and done so in a way that I don't have to deal with customers, which I've mentioned before as a stress factor.

The biggest thing though is my wrists; the fact that I can now lift fairly heavy boxes without my tendinitis flaring up means that things can only improve from here as long as I keep a very close eye on what I'm doing every moment when I am lifting. I'm just thrilled to see such a rapid improvement and I'll be adding some gentle exercises to further return my wrists to normal function by this summer, I hope, about a year and a half after I first injured them in 2012. That's right on the time estimate that the doctor gave me this past August and I think that my new job is perfect timing all around for that.

February 27 - Thirds

If you've ever wondered about what I write in this blog and why I write it, here's a little insight.

The main reason I read the blog is to allow my family and friends from all over to keep up with what I do; it's like an online journal in that way. No surprises there.

I also like to write down my thoughts and feelings here, so that I can refer back to them later. As well, they perform in a cathartic manner, as I am making them concrete by setting them down in this written form.

However, I thought recently about how much does and doesn't go into this blog. I'm a fairly sharp person and there's always a lot of thought going on behind my eyes, even apart from the regular daily stresses and worries that bedevil us all. My mind operates on many levels, observing and filing and comparing things alongside the various thought processes as I'm interacting with the challenges of the day.

That said, I write down only about a third of what's going on every week in my head and in my life. Another of the missing thirds are the petty concerns and daily trials that we all face in dealing with life in general - not including making shopping lists or laundry, because those things almost never merit a mention unless you find money along the way to either.

The last third are things that no one will ever see, thoughts that would normally only ever make it into a journal, except I don't keep a journal anymore. Back in the 1990s, I kept one for several years but stopped as soon as I realized it had become a place where I simply scribbled my complaints… and it reads as such to me whenever I get up the courage to page through every few years. For some people, journals and diaries are wonderful things, where you can have a conversation with your past self or your future self, depending on how you write and what you want to write about. For me, this blog serves that function, as well as several others, but in the main I keep things positive here and in most respects I feel that I've succeeded in tracking and upwards journey towards a brighter future, one blog entry at a time.

February 28 - Loose pants!

Once every month or so, I weigh myself as a matter of course.

This time, as I stepped on the scales I was shocked to see that I have lost 7 pounds since the end of January! This is highly unusual for me as I don't gain or lose weight all that quickly and certainly not as much as this in so short a time.

It looks like the combination study physical labor and working nights along with a slightly inadequate diet for the calories I've been expanding is to blame. Adding cycling to work and back home again several times a week probably figures in their too.

So I've upped my food intake as well as increased the number times and eating each day in order to compensate. They are all healthy meals and I've included a nutritional shake along with several fruits, so I shouldn't see any more weight loss and I should get back some of my lost body mass in the next few weeks. It will be a healthy weight gain, as I can already feel my muscles tightening and strengthening from the work I've been doing every night; it's like a slow work out for eight hours and I'm ensuring I don't strain myself trying to overdo things. All the same I'll be weighing myself weekly to keep an eye on things until I return to my regular weight.

March 1 - Still Nights

Spring is here in Victoria, right on schedule. Blossoms are appearing everywhere, the grass is green and the sun has been shining brightly in between the long bouts of rain watering all the plants.

It also looks like I'll be on nights for several more weeks.

Staples has so far been unable to find anyone else to work midnights, which I'm not really surprised at as both previous times I've worked the graveyard shift it proved very difficult to get anyone hired in a timely manner. I calculate that I have probably a few months until I can no longer do nights, when my body finally gets to the point where it won't function normally unless I return to a daytime schedule.

I sincerely hope that replacement staff have been hired by then, as I really want to go to daytime and so continue my employment with Staples. I'll keep thinking positively and hoping that with the current job market, several other people will get the call as I will and decide that working is better than taking a handout. I most certainly do not want to continue on nights and find myself still slogging away under the midnight sun six months from now.

Which means I'll still be looking for a job, just in case. All the same, I've really been enjoying my time at Staples and I'll do all I can to stay there while collecting a steady paycheck as long as possible.

March 2 - Fitness

My Spring exercise program starts this coming week.

Every other day I'll be running soon after I wake up in the afternoon, to accustom myself to the routine. The local part is nearby with the perfect mix of running surfaces including lovely cedar-wood chip paths.

In addition to the running, I have a friend who will be helping me begin a weight training regimen. Initially, the focus will be on allowing me to work with weights without injuring myself and especially without injuring my wrists. I've never been a member of a gym before or worked out seriously with weights so this will be a new experience for me. I've been told many times that I have an ideal frame for lifting weights and although I have no desire to turn myself into a professional bodybuilder, I do want to improve my physical appearance, at least to the point where I'm fit and can decide where to go from there.

With the cardio workout from running, alternating with cycling to work and back and the gym workouts, I should be in fairly decent shape by this summer. Who knows? I may even end up getting a tan and looking good on the beach… Though that means that actually have to get DOWN to the beach more often than my current never.

March 3 - Still waters

Earlier this week, I was feeling rather down, but that was my own fault.

As I've mentioned before, I tend to think a lot, to the point where I'm over thinking too many things and the worries start to get together to cause me trouble.

Changing one's perspective is a hard thing, one most people shy away from as it's far easier continuous old habits and to form new ones even if they're better for you.

I'm not talking about dietary habits, though those are important as well. No, I'm talking about thinking habits and perceptual habits, both of which are things that are hard to conceptualize let alone implement if you're not in the right frame of mind.

For the longest time, I've been reactionary and realistic, both of which are functions of survival and not conducive to living or achieving one's great dreams. I'm slowly seeing that thought can influence and become action, all dependent on one's perception of the reality you choose to inhabit. My reality for so long has been one confined by responsibility and defined by a lack of personal goal setting beyond my family's immediate needs.

It's time to change that; past time, really.

Completing my novel this past fall is just the first step along my journey towards a personal future that I have to focus on defining, but now I can see that there is a light ahead, instead of just a formless fog that I saw for the longest time, even after coming here to BC. My responsibility to my family has now diminished to the point where I can make out a shape in the fog that I recognize: it's me, holding the light, beckoning me towards a future where I have found my true self.

This has been the most thoughtful I've been in a long while... we'll see if next week sees me return to my usual habits, or if I'll write more of the same.