Friends, Fried Eggs and Fake Facebooking

The word of the week is perplexity.

May 6 - Blogging

Sometimes I really don't know what to write here - shocking, I know.

It's a little easier to come up with something when I'm using my voice recognition software, especially now that the cat insists on sitting on my lap for hours at a time whenever I take a seat. Since that precludes me using a keyboard, it's a good thing that I've got DragonDictate set up to use and it also keeps me in practice for setting my thoughts down whenever I 'write' with my voice.

But back to writing my blog: as I've said before, some days the words just don't flow. This week especially, I haven't done much save work at Staples and work on my projects at home. That doesn't make for a lot of exciting things to share, admittedly, but it is what it is.

One thing I haven't done ( and won't do ) is to make this blog a journal of complaints, which wouldn't do anybody any good. Everybody has their problems, including me, and it's best to talk about them instead of just writing down and hope that somebody else will come along and fix them. Everybody needs perspective and right now my problems may seem large, but in the grand scheme of things, I'm the only one is holding myself back by dwelling on them instead of finding solutions. Dwelling on problems I found does little except to up time and energy that could be better spent; that's a hard lesson to learn.

Is a bad thing that the best solution I've been able to come up with is a time machine? I'll get back to you on that.

May 7 - Iron Man Birthday!

Today was a really great day!

The late afternoon was spent learning modules from online tech training with a friend, which went very well. We're doing this at least once a week to work towards a CompTIA+ certification, which will really help when applying for IT jobs like tech support.

In the evening, I attended a friend's birthday party at a local restaurant outside on a covered patio. We all sat down to a great dinner and we had quite a few good conversations; a number of people there were quite nerdy and appreciated All Things Geek. I hadn't been out to a party in quite some time and I really enjoyed myself just chatting with my friends, who found things like this amusing:

Afterwards, three of us went to see Iron Man 3 in IMAX 3D - it was spectacular! Ironically, I hadn't seen the second movie but from all accounts I didn't miss much and I still enjoyed the third movie immensely. Without spoiling things for those of you haven't seen it, it was laced with snappy dialogue, great doses of humor and of course the expected spectacular special effects that centered around the suits which thankfully didn't take over the whole film. Robert Downey Junior and Gwyneth Paltrow were excellent in their roles, as was the main villain played by Guy Pearce whom I liked a lot better than the villain from the first film who seemed oddly hollow as played by Jeff Bridges.

Getting home well after midnight, I basked in the glow of contentment from the evening and had the best night's sleep I've had in weeks.

Moral of the story? Spend more time with friends on patios! Movies, too.

May 8 - Ice cream for breakfast?

Breakfast for me is always been important, but I've never really given it much thought.

Sure, I've always enjoyed searching for new breakfast places locally wherever I am, but I usually don't eat out more than once every week or two. I love eating breakfast out! But...

Why do I mention this?

Well, for years and years I used to just have cereal, as it was quick and easy and quite honestly had a high sugar content: Honey-nut Cheerios were staple choice for long time. Add in some toast and that was about it to get my day going; not a lot of nutritional variety there, I have to say.

That sufficed for university, but afterwards I gravitated towards more of a bacon and eggs breakfast each day when I was living with my family. That provided a fair amount of energy but I think it also started my slide towards gaining weight in an unhealthy way.

After moving to Victoria, I dialed back on the breakfast variety for various reasons, in the main needing to trade speed for anything else. So I went back to cereal for the most part, something I've continued with today while adding in a little variety and even going for oatmeal when I can remember to give myself the time for it in the mornings.

Weirdly, I found myself wanting ice cream for breakfast today. I've no idea why; maybe the monotony of cereal sparked a mini rebellion my brain or perhaps I just needed to go out for breakfast but didn't have the time or the budget. But at least I'm eating breakfast and I think that's the most important thing that I take along with me wherever I go; unlike a lot of rushed lunches, breakfast is something I always make time for.

May 9 - Fake Giveaways

Scammers really get my hackles up sometimes. Case in point: product 'giveaways' on Fbook.

Time and time again I see people Sharing photos of tech products like iPads and Samsung Galaxy phones, with the caption 'Share this and you'll get one of 3,000 opened boxes that Apple is giving away since they can't sell them as new' which is pure fiction.

Folks, just don't do this. All you're doing is putting money in a con artist's pocket by helping to spread their scam further.

My words will probably fall on deaf ears, as people usually don't think before they Share on Fbook. Their hearts race at the thought of getting something expensive for free when all they have to do is click a few buttons, costing them nothing. It's a simple trick and one that keeps on being repeated over the years, as it's very effective.

What it means for the scammers is that they get a nice little package of usernames they can sell to other unscrupulous online users, who could then market whatever they like to a fairly gullible audience. Yes, I said gullible, as all too many people will likely click on a few e-mails or ads sent to them by the same unscrupulous scammers, putting more money in their pockets. Check out sites like Facecrooks.com or Snopes.com to find out more.

Think before you click or Share. If it sounds too good to be true, it very likely is.

May 10 - Podcast voices!

On my way to grocery shop today, I listened to a podcast from Nerdist.com, with Maurice Lamarche and Rob Paulsen of Pinky and the Brain fame. I seem to gravitate towards the podcast episodes where voice actors are on, probably because I'm starving for inside information about how their world works

The two of them together were hilarious, sharing some great stories about working in the voice acting business. They had quite a few things to say about earning a living by their voice alone, but the one that stood out for me was something Rob said. "I'm getting paid to do what I got in trouble for in the seventh grade. I absolutely love what I do and thank my lucky stars for 25 years of full-time employment in this business." He also went on to say that the best voice actors have a live performance background, but I guess I can't have everything going for me if I want to get into the business.

For now, I'll just add voice acting to my list of Wants and look to find some time for it this year. I've got as much of a shot at breaking into the business is anyone, if I can get a little focus and a little time together to do some work that will stand me in good stead. There are resources out there now that I can use, if I put my nose to the grindstone now and then to really dig into what I need to do.

Just having a good voice isn't enough, I have to be able to do a lot more with it than just talk.

May 11 - Training Online Apace

Work's going all right, though I have a lot of training to finish in the next week.

By training, I mean I have to complete several dozen more online modules through the training site while at home. I could fumble along without them, but in order to do well at my job I have to retain the knowledge that I'm expected to know and that I've not been shown more than glimpses of during my shifts.

Oddly, this is very similar to when I was at MMart, but at least with Staples I have a massive training support database at my disposal. It's on my own time, true, but it means that if I want to succeed and do well it's up to me to ensure I have the knowledge ingrained to use while I work.

It is frustrating though, to go through busy day like today feeling inadequately prepared for much of what gets thrown at me. It's odd as well, as I projects an air of competence whenever I do a job no matter what I'm feeling inside. That image keeps getting shattered though, whenever I have to stop and ask for help when I hit a process that I'm not familiar with and there's a customer waiting. Fortunately, I'm still wearing a 'In training' name badge and everyone's been quite kind and patient with me, customers included. I don't make the same mistake twice and I work very hard to retain what I'm shown so that I don't have to ask again; this also cuts down on the number of mistakes I make and being who I am, the fewer mistakes I can chalk up to my day, the better I feel at the end of it.

My training should be complete in a week's time, at the same time as my 90 day probation is up. I hope to present a solid package of competence to the managers to show them I am ready to hit the sales floor and work full-time. Only getting two or three days a week has been very rough on the monthly budget, especially given that I'm earning around half of the hourly wage I was before. Even though I won't be on commission, just being able to work 40 hours a week should help greatly.

Which will also mean less time for my other projects, but since those aren't paying the bills yet, it's a tradeoff I'll have to make for now.

May 12 - Mumm's the Word

It was Mother's Day today and my family all went out for brunch to the Stones Throw Restaurant at which I've become a regular, of sorts - I show up once or twice a month, but that's enough I guess.

My family is to go out for Sunday brunch quite a lot when I was a kid, which made for a lot of good memories of places that are no longer around save in my mind's eye. I think that these brunch trips were what gave me a love of breakfast, of piles of wonderful-smelling bacon, endless pancakes and a sheer variety of breakfast foods to choose from. Today we really enjoyed the brunch, especially as the last time we all went out together for brunch was back in the 1990s, from what we could all agree on. It was lovely to just be out to celebrate having all of us together as a family, especially having my mom around as there are many points over the last few decades where she might not have made it here at all.

The rest of my day went by fairly quickly, working at home. No longer am I using my Xbox due to the pain in my hands that holding the controller causes; it's been months since I played it and I honestly can't say when I will again. I've had to set aside my feelings about that, as I don't have enough time in the day as it is to do what I want to do let alone spend hours just gaming, though I miss my friends.

Days like today can't be wasted, if you can call it that, on games. With about a dozen things I should be doing AND with a few 'spare' days a week right now, I have a HUGE opportunity if I can only apply myself to getting projects moving. Apart from not being able to master SQL, I've got a good shot at getting myself ahead and I'd be a fool not to use my time as wisely as possible. 

Not to say I won't have some downtime, but if I don't work hard now, I'll be right back where I started 2013: digging the hole deeper instead of climbing out of it. It's up to ME; I hear the tick of the clock too clearly some days now.

I've picked up two extra shifts this week going from two days to four, which seems to be the way things are working right now. I'm grateful for the extra hours and as I've said already, I hope that things stabilize enough to give me near full-time hours sometime soon; right now work is doling out hours based on sales and since those been slow, hours are being rationed out equally which keeps everyone working but nobody except the managers are getting more than three days a week. We'll see how long that keeps up until I have to start thinking about a second job to try to make ends meet.

Netflix, Nerds and Need

The word of the week is momentum.

April 29 - Silent Poems

A little over three months ago, I stopped writing haiku.

Nobody really noticed or said anything, which was fine really, as I'd been writing them mainly for myself for a year to see if I could create a new one every single day. Which I did: mission accomplished.

I gained a lot of experience in the form and really enjoyed what I came up with on a daily basis. I wasn't trying to set a record or anything, as there are many acknowledged masters of haiku and I'm not one of them. While that irks me ever so slightly, I realize that it's one of those art forms where one can spend a lifetime attempting to master it and never know if you've succeeded or not.

Something's off with this haiku...

For me, being able to express myself within some set limits meant I had to work harder at eliminating excess from my words as they flowed onto the screen. Did I mention I write exclusively on the computer? I find writing by hand to be far too slow when trying to get my creativity going and to have the flow etch itself onto the screen as fast as I can speak is very liberating.

As for the haiku, they're still there inside me somewhere and they'll be out again someday, I'm sure.

April 30 - Stalled

So far, neither of my two business projects have gotten very far. In both cases, I simply haven't been able to dedicate the time or energy to fleshing them out.

For my Internet business, I've run into a lack of experience which is translated into a lack of direction as to where to take my project next. I still think it's a great idea, but its execution has been plaguing me and I now have to reach out to a few folks to find out what I can do to simplify and streamline what I have to maximize my presentation. In other words, I need to make my business idea look professional and appeal to the clients I am trying to attract. It's far from easy and I really am at a loss in this aspect.

Frustratingly, my other business that has to do with a bicycle accessory already has a prototype, but I am again running into a lack of experience regarding how to market it. Not to mention reaching out to manufacturers to try to get quotes so as to get a realistic picture of the cost of the product - from there I'll be able to work out profit/loss ratios based on cost per unit and so forth. Another great idea that's the come mired in the details, so to speak.

I haven't given up on either idea, but for now they're both on standby. Sadly.

May 1 - Spring is in the air

It's a new month and change is upon us.

I'm really excited for this summer season, which will be over all too soon as they always are. 

The longer daylight hours lend their energy to me, giving my subconscious the crazy idea that I can get more done today - who wouldn't want that?

I think it's the energy that I'm looking forward to the most, being able look out the window and see that it's not yet dark and that I still on some level have the wherewithal to keep working of a day. I certainly have a lot to keep me occupied outside of my day job, so much so that all need to focus as well as to be sure that I take the time to enjoy myself this season. Last summer I spent most of my time inside of a  day pulling my novel out of the ether to spend it into being one word at a time.

This year, I want to be able to put down my virtual pen and get outside to play.

May 2 - A leg up?

My legs seem to have mostly recovered from my abortive attempt at running earlier this spring.

However, my right leg still seems to be giving me trouble: specifically the tendon over my knee is still quite painful and I can't kneel on it even on soft surfaces. I've talked to my doctor about this and he has recommended that I seek an alternate treatment such as acupuncture as we both feel that medicating it isn't the right solution.

I have to wonder if it's perhaps being exacerbated by my rides to work on my cycle, as I push down with a fair degree of force in order to turn the wheels as I pedal. Perhaps? I don't know but I'm going to see what I can find Out with a little observation and perhaps then seek the counsel of a sports therapist through my doctor. I definitely can't continue to much longer without finding a solution, as constantly babying my leg in order not to aggravate the tendon will really limit me doing much of anything outside this summer. 

Which would be a bummer.

May 3 - Netflix!

After waiting and waiting, we finally jumped aboard Netflix this month.

Mainly because the fourth season of Arrested Development is going to be released exclusively on Netflix at the end of May. I purposely kept myself away from finding out anything regarding the premise of the series continuation so I can see a completely fresh and just enjoy the heck out of it.

While I was exploring what Netflix had to offer tonight, I have to say I did find a few things that I'd like to see. TV series such as the most recent season of Futurama and Transformers: Prime caught my eye, as well as movies like Inglorious Basterds and Prometheus. There's a fair bit of content on there that I'd like to see, though again the movie library seems a little light given all that's out there and available.

But that's just going to be for when I'm relaxing; I'm certainly not going to watch episodes of any show back-to-back instead of doing things that really matter in my life. Netflix, like the rest of my media collection, has to take a back seat this year and settle for simply entertaining me when needed instead of functioning as a time filler, an idea that is more and more abhorrent to me these days.

May 4 - Star Wars Day!

Okay, okay, I know I said this last year but is still bears repeating:

May the Fourth be with you!

I've really grown to like Star Wars day, as it's really taken on a mein of geek celebration. Sort of like an unofficial geek holiday every year where people can express their unabashed love of whatever geeky thing that is close to their heart. For example, one of the managers today said they were a closet Star Wars geek and probably wouldn't have disclosed that little tidbit on any other day of the year, which made me smile. Wil Wheaton had something to say about being a geek that was quite inspired:

Star Wars is such a huge part of today's cultural landscape that I could go on quite at length about it - but I won't, because you probably know that already. Countless variations of memes circulate on the Internet daily, along with new Star Wars content including the upcoming movies from Disney and the endless line of books From the Extended Universe that I admit I'm not all that familiar with. You never know though, when some rare pictures of the original movie shoots may show up...

All the same, I think every May the Fourth is going to have a special celebration of some kind if I have anything to do with it. We'll see what I can cook up for next year!

May 5 - Temperature

The warm weather is finally here!

Temperatures here on Vancouver Island have risen precipitously from the low teens into the high teens and with them the Sun has truly become warm. This past Friday, I sat out on the patio at Moka House, sipping a tea and soaking in the rays. In no time at all, I was sweating, even wearing shorts and sandals - for the first time this year. It was great!

Right now as I write this blog, the temperature outside is 18°C, quite a lot higher than the low 4° only a week ago that I could feel even through the closed curtains of my room. The apartment I'm in is half in the ground, which helps to moderate its temperature as I've mentioned before. Being on the North side of the building also means it's not exposed to direct sunlight for most of the day, so even should we a unusually warm summer this year are placed will remain quite comfortable.

Summer will be great this year, as I'll be diving into finishing up my novel's third draft. It will be a repeat of last year in a way, in that I will be drafting lines and revising while the sun hangs high in the sky. There's going to be a lot to do in the next six months and I'm really looking forward to it.

I have four days off this coming week - four. I plan on spending most of my time finishing my online training for Staples, as I'm no longer beating my head against the brick wall of SQL, so that will be good. Apart from that, I have a birthday party to attend, a friend to train in tech, a novel to keep working on, a few side projects to dig into, and some good weather to enjoy. A busy week for only working one weekday of five!

Ladders, Lunch and Learning

The word of the week is patience.

April 22 - Feedback

Tonight's meeting of my novel critique group was especially useful: they thought the chapters I had written for this week's review were my weakest so far.

This is a good thing.

I want, I NEED to know when my writing's not up to par and more importantly, why.

The feedback I received tonight was excellent; the three other authors that I meet with monthly are wonderful people who are also extremely attentive to reading one another's work objectively to give critiques that we can use to make our work better - that's what it's all about.

Of my two submitted chapters, the first was unanimously thought to be the weaker, as I had tried to cram too much exposition/ background into the chapter without actually having anything happen. While this was great from my perspective, it left my fellow critique readers in the cold and they quite rightly pointed out as a flaw, with the writing not being up to my usual standards. Which was also a complement, as they know I can do better and want me to know that fact as well.

Honest feedback is a rare thing, to be treasured above all else as an author and in life as well, as true friends will tell you what you need to hear, not what you want to hear. The feedback I've received so far from these writer friends has been invaluable, as it has allowed me to make my novel so much better than even I thought it could be. Right now I just need the time AND energy to sit down on a regular basis and re-edit my book from the start, not just pecking away at it piecemeal with the chapter here and there every month. I don't want to spend another two years writing my novel when I could be sending the incredibly good / completed third draft around to agents instead.

I think what I'd like the most would be to have several agents fighting over my novel(s), where I have to pick and choose among offers while continuing to write ever more often each day.

April 23 - Journeying

It's a hard thing, to fall and see the long ladder still ahead of you.

Today I had a lot on my mind regarding jobs, careers and success. I've previously mentioned how I've enjoyed the lack of stressful responsibility at my current job at Staples, but at the same time I know that I'm capable of much more and today I felt like I was treading water more than I have in a while.

Ambition is a good thing, at least in that it drives us to achieve and not to settle for mediocrity. For me, personal success in protecting my family has come at the cost of career success, at least in terms of being able to build on my previous work experience to transition to a new field while maintaining my income around the same general level. I've definitely fallen far from my previous earnings level, though again those earnings wouldn't have done me much good if I was crippled or dead from stress.

No, I realize that change is difficult and right now my life is in transition, being pulled in many directions at once as the choices dangle themselves tantalizingly in front of me, daring me to leap forward. Today I had many thoughts on my mind regarding direction and focus, especially regarding my novel. The fact that I HAVE a day job should be enough to allow me to work on other things that are important to me, instead of dwelling on the fact that I'm no longer a manager in a position where others look to me for direction. I have to transition to a frame of mind where others look to me in respect for my knowledge, experience and ability to perform my job at an exceptional level irregardless of what I'm being paid or who my technical boss is on organizational chart that I'll never see.

I'll let you know little secret: I despise having a boss. My goal is to work for myself, to be responsible for my own success and to make my living as I see fit on my own merits, without wearing a name tag or having to wonder if I'm living up to somebody else's standards. My own standards are high enough that I know I can succeed in whatever I determine to do. I've been given the time, ironically enough, with a job that's only part time, leaving me three or four days a week to do with as I will - my success or lack thereof is thus entirely in my own hands, dependent on how much energy and time I can devote to each of the projects that I focus on this year.

That, and a little luck, is all I need.

April 24 - Nutrition

For the last few weeks, I've been trying to increase my nutritional intake.

Eating three basic meals a day just isn't cutting it for me; some days I'm just plain tuckered out after working and I can't stand the lack of energy to do all the other things that I need to get done.

So now I'm eating a larger breakfast, which at least once a week will be high in protein to include things like bacon, eggs and such things other than plain old cereal. Mixing it up is also just good for breaking the routine that tends to set in when you're busy.

Lunch tends to be sandwiches for me, as there are easy to make and take to work. The occasional busy day also works with a nutritional shake, which I tend to add something else to like a bun( pretzel buns!!! )as the shakes don't seem to be all that filling by themselves though they are excellent in terms of overall nutrition. Plus, it's easier to down a shake than a sandwich on a short break.

Dinner has been a real mixed bag for me lately, with very few days where my sister schedule and mine coinciding  so that we can plan a meal. It's been a little frustrating, as I've been trying to enhance my cooking skills and just making salad doesn't really do anything for those. Even one night a week would be great, especially as I don't seem to be getting more than three shifts a week at work, leaving time for other things such as planning meals. We can't keep a lot of food on-hand due to our budget restrictions, but the meals we have in mind aren't all that expensive and are certainly less costly than picking up dinners here and there even on the cheap locally.

Snacks: they just don't happen any more. I don't have chips, cookies or other 'filler foods' sitting in the cupboard any more at home. I'll have the occasional treat here and there of a month, but I definitely have broken myself of the 'check cupboard every few hours' habit.

Soon enough I hope to be feeling more energetic from eating better, exercising more and getting more sunshine due to the longer days that are here at last. I am looking better overall and hope to have that reflected on the inside as well ASAP.

April 25 - Guilty Pleasures

I picked up a guilty habit when I was working on midnights earlier this year: the TV show Wipeout.

The break room has cable TV( ironic, as I don't at home )and since we always took breaks around the same time each night, we would tend to watch the same shows. One of these was Wipeout nd initially I was intrigued, as one of its hosts is Jill Wagner, who has also starred on Stargate: Atlantis in a few episodes as a kickass female heroine.

Which is funny, as on Wipeout  the contestants are the ones getting their asses kicked and I can't stop watching for some reason. I'm not the sort of person who enjoys people getting hurt and I do realize that the show takes heavy safety measures to ensure nobody is injured, but it has to be hard on people when they get knocked around as much as they do on Wipeout.

I think the thing that I like the most about the show is that they constantly mixed up and change the courses that people have to run so it's never the same. Sure they keep a few standbys that almost nobody can get past but generally there's always something new each episode to keep it fresh, in addition to mixing up the types of contestants and having teams sometimes as well. The fact that there is a $50,000 prize waiting at the end for someone each time also appeals to me, as I'm sure it does to the audience in general as well: anyone can apply to give their best at trying to run the gauntlet and claim the cash. It could be you, me or anyone up there, which I think is why I like watching Wipeout whenever I catch it on TV on one of the limited channels that I get right now. It's just plain fun.

April 26 - Getting Out, Less

For the next little while, I won't be going out much in order to save funds for my trip to Arizona.

Yet it's not like I've been spending money out on a regular basis, either.

Over the years, I've become quite the frugal consumer, finding the least – expensive ways of entertaining myself and generally enjoying my time off without overspending. As some of you have seen on FBook, I can spend a few hours down at Moka House for only a couple of dollars, the price of a pot of tea in the sunshine. Meals out are usually with a coupon and at most happen once a week; twice a month is the average for going out to eat - the occasional Subway sub or Tim Horton's breakfast biscuit notwithstanding.

The reason I mention this is because of my thoughts lately on disposable income relating to one's age. Twenty years ago, I was a student and already finding ways to take my budget stretch as much as possible. I noticed many of my peers and fellow students spent a LOT more money than I did on entertainment and other things that I thought were frivolous, likely because my personal situation at the time was not the greatest due to my family's financial problems. The habit has stuck with me all this time, always looking for sales and the best way to make my money stretch, including just not spending it, period.

Soon enough I hope to get to the point where I can simply say 'I think I just like to go out for lunch / dinner tonight' and not feel a twinge of guilt( or worse ) when I do it more often then once or twice a month. Taking frugality to its extreme is not something I want to do; I'm not poverty-stricken by a long shot but at the same time I certainly don't have funds burning holes in my pockets right now. As always, I have to find a happy medium that satisfies my needs with my wants.

April 27 - No More SQL

After weeks of trying, I've had to admit defeat.

It's a rare thing for me, not being able to succeed is something I put my mind to, but at the same time it's also a lesson in that I can't succeeded absolutely everything just because I want to. By that, I mean that while I'm good at quite a few things, I recognize that my strengths are in some areas and not others, like music or math or athletic physical activities… it's who and what I am.

That said, I've had to set aside the potentially lucrative job that's dangling before me for a few months now as a quality assurance tester at my friend's company. My application would be dependent on being able to perform basic SQL functions and despite my studying and application of my disciplined willpower, SQL just hasn't sunk into the point where I can get anything useful done without a manual sitting right next to me every step of the way. I understand that some things take time, but in this case despite applying myself, I can't picture any form of SQL code any useful manner without extreme effort and a reference of some kind. This just won't cut it when it comes to performing a job that someone's going to pay me for, even if that position involves a fair bit of on-the-job training; I can't avoid the responsibilities while still collecting a paycheck as that's not who what I am.

So I'll keep working at my part-time basic-pay day job for now and my ear to the ground for any more opportunities that might arise, while being grateful for the one that I was offered yet can't fulfill.

April 28 - Off Daze

I thought I'd use this space to mention a few things about my family and other people in my life, how they're doing instead of just focusing on me, as I noticed that this blog occasionally does. :-)

My sister is really enjoying her job as an executive assistant, as it's challenging and makes use of many of her diverse skills. She's really looking forward to the rest of the year continuing to do what she's doing, as it makes her happy as well is paying fairly well even initially.

My parents had just moved into their new place this month, which has all the space they need as well as most every amenity they could have wished for on top of being mere steps away from the beach and an incredible  water view the to the east. Knowing that they are sailing under their own power financially as well as being settled in a place that they'll reside in for many years is a great relief to me in many ways.

My friends all seem to be doing very well in their own lives, getting on with living and making a living in equal measure. Most everyone seems happy with how things are going, though I admit that seeing one's life through the subjective lens of FBook is nowhere near the same as spending quality time face-to-face with people you care about. It was a hard decision, choosing between going to Arizona or Niagara early this year, but I hope to still be able to visit all my friends in Ontario before the end of 2013, somehow. I'd love to be able to simply do both, but right now that's not in the budgetary cards though it's not to say that things can't change - you never know what the universe might decide to toss your way so you'd better put a little catching practice in when you can.

As for me today, I caught a headache and spent most of my day getting rid of it. I did have three days off back-to-back this week, a good portion of which were spent trying to rid my computer of its own version of the headache: for some reason, every web browser I have keeps crashing and while I've managed to eliminate the possibility of malicious software, I still haven't managed to get them working to the point where they won't crash a few times a day and necessitate a reboot. So it goes; it's the little problems that sometimes add up to more than a little time being spent trying to solve what should be simple. I'm someone who doesn't sweat the big things but the little things tend to drive me a little buggy some days, especially when those bugs are hard to squash and not all that obvious.

However, whacking my PC with a shoe just isn't in my tech support vocabulary, so I think I'll sleep on it.

This week, I managed to tweak my wrists a little at work, so I've been taking it easy at home: very little typing and no game-playing to speak of, at all. It's frustrating to know that one wrong move and my wrists will sing for days, especially when other people can do the same thing all day long without noticing a thing - but that's my lot to deal with, as I will. I have to focus on what I CAN do, not what I can't... and be grateful for the chance to do.

Listening, Luck and Leaving Loops

The word of the week is perspective.

April 15 - Boston

Today's insanity in Boston just underscores why I don't want to do much traveling to the USA any more.

My family and I used to make regular cross-border trips to Niagara Falls, NY back during the heyday of shopping when the difference in the US-CDN dollar made that worthwhile. Plus, it was fun; long lines of Canadian cars crossed over in flocks to descend on malls and restaurants every weekend.

Now it seems like a different world, since 9/11 - and it is.

The events in Boston underscore the reality that horror can happen anywhere, at any time… but in the USA, there are a LOT of people with lists of grievances, little to lose and a lot of dangerous weapons that are fairly easy to get one's hands on. More and more, I see a gulf opening between life in Canada and life in the States, one widened by cultural beliefs both based in freedom, but different ways of maintaining it. Guns and a police state south of the border, mutual respect and a lack of firearms to the north. I know I'm simplifying things here… but when acts of terror become commonplace things on the news in your country, shouldn't you DO something about it?

April 16 - Friends

After working a long day, I ended up giving good advice all evening.

A friend of mine and I got together to talk about a few things, which turned into an unexpected advice session - with me dispensing said advice, which I think was well-received.

It was surprising, but obviously they needed to talk… and as all of you know, I am THERE for my friends, no questions asked - I know you're all there for me too.

Friendship is often about listening, and that's what I did tonight: I hung on every word and did my very level best to see things as part of a balance and a whole, then give my BRIEF opinion and salt it with some advice I thought they needed to hear for their situation. I've been in a lot of headspaces myself over the years, with all the things that have happened to me, so I hope that I've accrued some decent experience that I can pass on. I think what I did say was helpful, as my friend definitely looked less stressed when we called it an evening; I know I felt better for helping them, which is something I know I can do well when I put my mind to it. In helping, I also help myself - and I KNOW that sounds trite, but when you think about it, if you're giving good advice to another, can't you do the same for yourself?

April 17 - Rare luck

In all the years I've poked around thrift stores, I've found a few deals here and there… but NOTHING like the one someone found this week in the states!

One constant about thrift stores is that you NEVER know what you'll find. The key to scoring a 'find' is consistency and timing: be a regular and find out what times items start to go out on the shelves, so you can get there before most other people start flooding into the place of a day.

Apparently that worked, as the woman in this story found this jewel, still sealed:

It’s worth at least $10,000 USD, if the auction goes well, as previous auctions have. Games like this are exceedingly rare for a reason: most, if not all, were supposed to have been recalled and destroyed, but as always some slipped through the cracks. For those lucky enough to know what they were looking for, such gems are the find of a lifetime!

April 18 - Robots

I came up with an interesting analogy today, using robots, of all things.

For the last while, I've been struggling with a lot of things, trying to find solutions.

It helped today to visualize that struggle as a robot, of all things - the Iron Giant comes to mind. I can relate to the logic that such a construct embodies, as well as the leashed power and the ability to do great things. Such a robot can be said to live inside me, if we're going all metaphorical here, ready to be unleashed on tasks to Get Things Done and Solve Problems.

But what if there's no obvious solution to a problem? What if the robot can't find a clear way to use its talents, but instead languishes, unable to fulfil its perceived purpose?

Well, that's a recipe for frustration, that's for sure. And that's how I've felt for a while now, here and there, for most of 2013 so far - even getting a job didn't alleviate things totally, though it did help a great deal.

No, I've felt stymied, trapped by my own high expectations and a lack of concrete results in my efforts. Want a better job? Learn SQL in 2 weeks and pass a test, or spend 3 months getting a CompTIA+ certificate, then another 6 months applying for tech support jobs while wearing horseshoes. What about those businesses of mine? Discover how to turn an idea into a solid business that will attract clients… somehow, while asking for help without being able to pay for it. Or focus on that novel… nailing down that Third Draft in pieces, sending out letters to Agents, hoping for a break while researching markets and trying to write short stories to sell in said markets.

All of it a lot to carry, even for the strongest Iron Giant.

April 19 - Summer's almost here!

Things around my apartment have been great, of late.

I never hear ANYTHING from the place above - not a peep. It might as well be unoccupied, which is GREAT for getting work done at home during the days or evenings I have off from Staples.

Also,  my neighbour who loves to slam her door told me today she is moving to go back to school, so that little jolt in my day will be gone soon. She's nice, but both she and her family members believe in ensuring a good seal when they close a door, so much so that our hall mirror has been adjusted fairly regularly for months now. Yet we never hear anything else from her, so it's a minor quirk really.

I'm really, really liking the thought of a solid, quiet summer here near the park and close to downtown. With the crazy noise from last year gone, I'm hoping to just ENJOY my place instead of trying to flee it for as long as possible each day. As I've mentioned before, most people have Three Places in their lives: Home, Work and Elsewhere. For me, home was not a refuge, hence the needed 'elsewhere' which turned out to be Moka House, the SkyLounge and at a stretch, my parent's place as needed.

Now, I think I'll enjoy choosing to stay at home some days, to enjoy the quiet. So far, it's marvelous!

April 20 - Thinking

I've been thinking more and more about balance of late.

Universal balance, to be specific.

Those of you who know me fairly well know that I don't ascribe to any sort of belief system, for various reasons. In the main, I try to do right by my friends, family and strangers alike, while maintaining my own ethics, morals and sense of self-worth.

I observe, as many people do, that life is an odd thing and that coincidences do seem to occur when the stats say they shouldn't; this is a good thing, I think.

Earlier, I mentioned perspective. This is important, as one's perspective on life's events can really open one's eyes to how the world around you is shaped by your own needs and desires. I'm not talking about wish-fulfilment here, which would be nice. No, it's about recognizing the little opportunities that come your way each day, appreciating them and acting on the ones you think would best serve you in whatever way you think you need.

Confused yet? Don't be; I'm not sure I understand things myself at this point, but I've been learning a lot over the last year from my observations. I'll make another post about it soon, once I have the language nailed down a bit more clearly, along with my thoughts.

For now: be positive.

April 21 - Promise Kept!

My sour mood evaporated today, all thanks to taxes.

To be specific: I finished doing my parent's taxes today and worked it out so that they didn't have to pay this year, unlike last year. Even better, they will be getting a modest return( and so will I on mine! ).

That news meant that they will, after all, be able to keep their promise to help me go to the Phoenix Comicon this year, only a month away in May 2013!

This has been a dream of mine since last summer, since I first heard that the ENTIRE surviving cast of Babylon 5 will be gathering for the 20th anniversary of the show's premiere:

I'm excited, and exhausted at the same time from the emotional loops I've been going through. For the last few months, it looked as though there was NO WAY I'd be able to afford to go, save hitchhiking across the USA. Now, with today's news, I'm going to be able to book the flights and the hotel room this week for the Memorial Day Weekend in May. It's especially exciting as I know that there will not be another gathering like this again; numerous cast members have passed away unexpectedly in the years since the show ended and I'm just thrilled to be able to see them all together one last time.

I've been working hard all weekend, finishing off editing several chapter critiques to be ready for my novel group tomorrow. As well, I've buried my nose in the SQL book and come up for air every so often, in addition to getting both my parent's and my own tax returns done this weekend. It's been busy and I'm tired as I finish off the blog tonight. I wish I could have booked the flights for my trip before bed, but I have to clear my 'vacation' dates with work tomorrow before I do so, just in case - there's no refunds on the flights, so I don't want to take the chance. For now, I'm VERY tired and heading to bed; the next two days are VERY full ones for me. Toodles!