Mid-sleep Maladies, Massage and Managing Mindsets

The word of the week is palpable.

July 3 – Better Thoughts

I've been thinking lately more about budgeting, and possibilities.

That word is the key: possibility.

In previous entries, I mentioned that there's a 'gap' that I'm trying to overcome in terms of my wages versus debts: $10K more year and I would be slightly more than breaking even in terms of my net take-home income versus monthly expenditures. Yet I've been so focused for the last year on increasing my income that whenever I looked at my debt, I would shut down mentally, seeing it as a burden that gets heavier every day. I couldn't see any way to get out that didn't involve in me essentially throwing up my hands and 'giving up' on repayment.

This last month, I've forced myself to set that aside and think about it again.

If I want to get things rolling in terms of repayment, I need to budget a total of $1500 a month to go towards debts, which would result in 90% of my debts being repaid within two years. That minimizes the amount of interest that will accrue( and I'm not even thinking about what I've ALREADY paid over the years )which is incentive to stick to the plan to see it to fruition.

I think that's reasonable, but I have to get there sooner rather than later.

The important thing about running these kinds of numbers is that you have to leave room for hope. For a long time now, I've just been plugging away at what I can see in front of me, juggling things so that I have never missed a payment and in doing so, giving up on any long-term financial goals due to my current situation.

Raising my eyes from the ground, I can see a way out, but it's all dependent on a decent income increase within the next 6 months. After that, the wave will catch me... and I'll have to let go of what I'm clinging to in order to make it to shore.

July 4 – Follow Your Bliss

Life is what you make it.

It can be blissful or unbearable: the choice is up to you and how you live your daily life, and none knew this better than the remarkable John Joseph Campbell:

My takeaway from his words is that happiness is a state of being we can all attain with effort, but few of us can maintain it consciously every day. Living your life under a cloud will color everything you see, so simply allowing the light to shine on your daily activities will reflect back far more happiness than just hoping that the sun will come out - it's an interesting distinction and one I'm working on myself.

Speaking of bliss, I mentioned last week I found something at my parents place while searching through the storage boxes for comics... it was this:

That's a BucConeer 1998 souvenier coin there too!

Now, the story behind this was that when I moved to BC nearly 10 years ago, some of the boxes from the move went missing... conveniently including one with the new-ish camera. At the time, I was unable to get anywhere with moving company and had to accept the loss it as part of the price of moving. I also thought that the same box held my cherished dice bag( above )containing all of the dice I've ever used for decades for my RPG games. I'd held off buying any more dice since, partly for the reason that I didn't want to replace these originals if they were still around, and partly because I never got back into a regular monthly RPG group( with a too-brief, wonderful exception a few years ago ). It was obvious I was still holding out hope of finding the bag, and I was rewarded this week for my patience!

The bag itself is unique, in that I've never seen anything like it anywhere for sale, online or off: I found it at BucConeer, the 56th world science fiction convention I attended in Baltimore in 1998. The bag's skin resembles that of a Dragon, in that it has a 'pebbled' texture with the appearance of scales: I fell in love with it instantly and it cost me a total of $15 USD at the time, a bargain!

I'm incredibly happy that I found it underneath some larger books in a box full of Car Wars RPG supplements, so it was completely invisible without the whole box being emptied. Which I thought I had done when I was going through all my stuff after the first couple moves around the city here years ago.

Joy and happiness!

July 5 – Living In Paradise

Ah, Victoria... you're so glorious!

The weather here is finally stabilized and we're into the 'dry season' with little to no rain for the next few months. The grass has turned Brown except where it's watered regularly( with restrictions )and the temperatures have stabilized.

It's the perfect time to go and explore Vancouver Island... Except I can't, because I have too much to do. But I can still look and plan for next year:

July 6 – Phone Return = Good!

Looks like I made a good choice in returning my recent LeEco phone.

I received notice a few weeks ago that my phone had been received by Banggood in China, and just today I received the bulk of the refund( less shipping fees, they're coming soon )via PayPal. I'll be sure to deal with Banggood again, as there was absolutely zero questioning of my return: it was quick and easy compared to that of many people in the forums I've seen when dealing directly with China-based companies, who tend to clam up when it comes to returning money for purchases.

Back to the phone: things aren't so great with LeEco lately.

If I had returned my phone, I could've been stuck with a device that while technically sound, wouldn't have received any kind of upgrades in the near future and more than likely any warranty service would have been haphazard at best. I'm glad that I followed my instincts and returned it as quickly as I did, despite the disappointment that engendered in being stuck with my failing Oneplus One.

However all is not lost: I found a new phone today on eBay - that I can afford!

Well, 'new' is a relative term: it's a Samsung Galaxy S5, and I just paid far less for it than its initial $600 price tag when it first came out in 2014. While its specs aren't quite as good as my OnePlus( only 2gb RAM vs 3 on the OPO )the screen is excellent and it has a number of features that my OPO doesn't: a heartbeat monitor( which I will use sparingly! )and a barometer, which is great as I plan to monitor the daily weather in the service of migraine prevention. Here's the rundown:

This will give me a phone that I can use for at least another year( or even two ) without issue in terms of speed, and without my having to cave in to Telus to get a phone on contract - never again!

Now I just have to find a decent-and-cheap case for it... on eBay, of course!

July 7 – That's too early...

It seems I can't catch a break with my physical health sometimes.

This morning, I awoke at 4am with some awful stomach pains, similar to the random-but-nasty leg cramp last week that snap me awake around the same time. It felt as though my entire abdomen was burning and I had to spend the next hour hunched over a heating pad in order to find any relief.

I didn't get back to sleep.

Looking things up after breakfast, I narrowed it down to the Rectus Abdominis group, or as they are more commonly known, one's abdominal muscles, as the culprit. From what I can determine, my posture over the last several months has been more 'forward' and hunched due to my new job position, despite my efforts to ensure that I sit upright in my chair. The sitting itself is also a factor, in that my stomach muscles have become foreshortened even with my regular walkabouts every 20 minutes, the regularity of which my coworkers have often commented on lately.

Tension, it seems, lives everywhere in my body, and I'm having difficulty getting rid of it even with regular stretching and walking daily. This never happened when I was riding my bike to work, and so that's a goal of mine: to get back on my bike, despite my fear of another hamstring-related failure...

Next up on my daily / weekly regimen: adding some Tai Chi and breathing exercises. We'll see how that goes, and I'm thinking of adding both acupuncture and massage therapy as I can find the funds to afford either this summer.

July 8 - Pressure Release

In the morning today, I went to get a massage - talk about good timing!

Serendipitously, this Thursday while hosting one of my writing group's monthly meetings, one of the members picked up on my brief aside that I was in some discomfort sitting at the table and mentioned that she was a massage therapist. After the meeting, she sent me an e-mail offering me a free trial session today, which I gratefully took her up on as I've been putting off any such treatment due to a lack of funds.The fact that my archaic work health coverage will only cover $10 per session for massage( unbelievable! )was also a factor, so I didn't want to 'waste' large amount of money on someone whose treatment might not have any major effect.

I really should've just spent the money, as the effect was indeed major!

During my treatment today, there was a massive release of tension throughout my body: she said it was directly related to my posture while sitting, as I had suspected, especially around my hips. Afterwards, I felt like I was a dangling puppet in a jar, my limbs were so much looser and I walked without more than a twinge or two in my foot tendons for the first time in many months.

I'll be going back next week again, as I certainly won't go back to feeling like a over-tensioned tennis racket waiting to snap should I move the wrong way. Unfortunately, my abdominals are still really tense and woke me up again last night , though this time it was just on the manageable side of uncomfortable rather than agonizing, which was an improvement.

Lesson learned: spend the money on massage to avoid further pain and lifestyle fragmentation...

July 9 – A Poetic Day

I was a 'hunter' for a day today!

My girlfriend invited me out to join her poetry group downtown, as we did a poetic scavenger hunt for a few hours this afternoon. She provided us with a list of six route items to 'collect' / experience, and we all went on our merry ways:

After an hour and a half, I made it back to Sam's Deli, where I sat down and for the next 30 minutes worked on my poem objectives. I ended up with five complete poems and five Haiku, which I thought was a nice balance. After everyone else had arrived and had a little bit more time to work, we went around the table sharing our creations in general order and they were quite impressive! I received some excellent feedback on my own works, of which I've selected one for your reading pleasure below, complete with picture - enjoy!

I have to say it was a glorious week and weekend weather-wise: sunny, with warm breezes and nary a hint of rain. Which is par for the course for Vancouver island in the summer months: not too hot, not too cold and just the right amount of humidity to be comfortable without the problems at either end of the scale. It looks pretty good to me for the next few weeks and I hope that August will also see us experience this moderate forecast:

It's been a good week, even with the waking-at-4am difficulties I've experienced. I'm hoping that the massage this week and next will alleviate most of those issues along with stretching and other exercises that I'm doing to bring my body back into a more balanced state. Eating well, a positive mindset and my eye on the ball( writing / better job / building my home business )this summer will see me make great improvements in my life before the end of 2017.

Getting Out, Gazebos, Gardens and Great Groo Bargains

The word of the week is mitigation.

June 26 – Wonderful Writers!

I truly enjoy being a writer, especially when I'm helping other writers. Tonight was an excellent example of that, and at a new venue too!

My writing group( going strong for almost 5 years now in Victoria! )hosted Bennett Coles, a local author and now a publisher, to discuss the oft-mysterious world of publishing in no-nonsense terms.

That window to the right was like a sun-searchlight... wowsers!

We hosted him at a new venue, a James Bay( near downtown )restaurant called The Bent Mast, which has a convenient pair of large rooms upstairs capable of holding 12 and 40 people, respectively. We used the larger room( for free!!! )to host the 38 people who showed up, all to listen to Ben lay out how publishing actually works.

Now, this was much of the same information I'd heard him deliver earlier in the year when attending his 3-session seminar series in Sidney( at $20/session )with more detail and Q&A, so getting the same info for free was a big score for everyone. Ben's candid experiences in publishing his own scifi series( Virtues Of War )these last 5 years, as well as those of starting his own publishing company locally( Promontory Press )were illuminating, and the audience was rapt for the nearly two hours we spent in his company.

Evenings like this are when I feel most like a 'real' writer: when I'm helping other writers to puzzle out their own paths towards success, including publication. Discovering things on my own while helping others to learn along the way are fulfilling for me, and I'm so grateful that I've managed to land as one of the two leaders of the VCWG. We've grown to nearly 1,000 members here on Vancouver Island, all without charging membership fees, and the feedback we've received for the work we've done has been overwhelmingly positive.

Meaning there's more nights like tonight to come, you can bet!

June 27 – Twins?

Have you ever wondered if you have a twin?

I think it's something that many people wonder, and I know I've been asked dozens of times, usually by strangers, if they know me... as they've met someone who looks like me at some point, but can't quite place who it is.

Now, there's technology that can find those twins of yours!

Twinstrangers.net is a site that purports to use specialized algorithms to match your image and description against a database of other people who have done the same. Obviously, the more people who use the website, the more likely you are to find a match!

I'm curious, and I'll probably sign up in the next few months to give it a go. Since I've gone from having  a dark goatee to a full-on silver beard though, I've received way fewer 'Hey, do I know you...?' comments from people, but I still think I'll give it a try with a variety of photos( clean-shaven, goatee, etc )to see if there's another Me out there.

I love modern technology...

June 28 – More of the same

Tonight was the sixth Land Mark session, the one I've been looking forward to attending for the last month and a half, all because of the promising title:

'Getting Out Of the Money Trap' -  sounds promising, right?

Two hours in, we arrived at the big reveal, after the usual story-sharing, preparatory talks and me getting up to stretch every 30 minutes( I'm doing better these days, but I'm not taking chances )so I was all ready as the moment arrived: how to Get Out of the Money Trap?

The big secret? Go fully into the trap, because you can't get out.

*long mental pause on my part, then a longer mental sigh*

Right. The same 'big secret' as the Weekend Forum I attended 3 months ago: essentially that life is meaningless and you can't do anything about your situation except step back from it and hope things will get better - thanks. I kept listening in case there were contextual cues I'd missed, and reviewed what we'd been presented with up to this point for the same reason. I like to be thorough before I made a decision.

Conclusion? No information that could help me in my own financial situation.

Now, going into this seminar series, I knew that it wasn't a 'traditional finance' course with budgets, terminology, practical tests and/or advice, etc... but it was free because I'd done the Forum, so that said a lot, and I'm always open to learning new ideas. I'm also open to the fact that my focus may have been too narrow over the years I've been wrestling with my finances and that I might have totally missed something vital.

After tonight, I'm pretty sure of what my current financial options are, and totally certain that this evening was my last session with Land Mark - they have nothing more to teach that I care to learn, ironic since nothing is at the core of what they're proselytizing.

Disappointing, to say the least. But I've still learned a fair bit from my experiences with them, discovering that I'm angry deep-down( and how to channel that creatively )as well as that I'm down to the financial options I've known for a year: spend less and/or earn more.

Plus, I'll be getting back 8 more evenings this July for editing!

June 29 – Stomaching

One thing I'll be doing less of from this point on is stressing.

Much like earlier this year, when I was stressed out about the Land Mark Forum weekend, my stomach tensed up daily, causing me significant pain and discomfort.

Lately, this has been manifesting itself every few days, usually on the weekend before the Monday group chat, and for the next few days before the seminar. It's usually compounded by how I sit at work, upright at my desk, though I take pains to get up and walk around every 20 minutes to keep my core muscles moving. While it's not as bad as it was three months ago, where I had to sleep in an elevated position, it's still been quite painful if I move the wrong way or too quickly, feeling like I've been doing situps for an hour straight.

I've also been re-reading Deskbound, focusing on the problems I'm having with these specific core muscle groups and looking at the recommendations therein. So far, I haven't come up with much beyond what I'm already doing: paying close attention to how I sit, ensuring my work ergonomics are sound and not 'clenching' my abdominals while focusing on regular full-diaphragm breathing.

Next week will be informative, as I don't have a group chat on Monday( holiday! )and I won't be attending the seminar on Wednesday. So if my stomach / abdominals settle down to a nice, relaxed state, then I'll know for sure that it's been the stress from Land Mark that's been the cause behind the daily pain.

I'm looking forward to being free of that distraction, I'll tell you!

June 30 – Decision Inspiration

It's funny how making a decision helps settle things in one's life.

Wondering, waiting, planning, thinking: the problem is that none of these are actually doing, but usually just prevarications to avoid making decisions.

My decision to stop the Land Mark series this week is good, in my eyes, because it means I can move firmly on to doing other things that I haven't been able to devote my full attention to... and also get rid of the stress that accompanies such.

A particular quote resonates with me, when it comes to decisions:

Nothing falls into line when you're hovering at the decision door: you have to walk through to discover what's waiting on the other side, and hope that what you find will aid you further, now that you've made a decision.

In the past, I've been known to be wishy-washy about decisions, as many people are. I held out for various reasons: hope that things will change, agonizing that the decision I was pondering might lead to a wrong choice( oh no, a mistake! )or that what I was doing was ill-informed, so I had to keep pondering on it.

Not so much any more.

I've come to trust my instincts, which have been honed by experience and knowledge both. In coming to decisions now, I'm far better able to 'go with my gut feeling' first, and then take a little time to back up that decision with some thought and research.

Right now, my guts are( literally )screaming at me to finish editing my latest draft, so I can get on to planning my home business and getting a better job. Nothing more - there's no room for anything more in my life right now, apart from my( admittedly amazing )girlfriend and my family.

The kicker? There doesn't need to be anything else: I'm good.

July 1st – Happy 150th Birthday, Canada!

Wow, what a busy day, but it was so great!

Yet I woke up today with a headache, which transitioned into a full-on migraine-pending on the way to my parent's place today, brought on by the combination of a massively-bassy truck following us and the strobe-like flashing of the brilliant low-angle morning sun through the trees as we drove. I had to lie down for a while with a few Tylenol when I arrived instead of visiting, and felt woozy until well after lunch, when my head finally straightened out. It's the first time in many years that's happened, and I'll have to watch out for the strobe effect if I'm feeling an incoming headache from now on - plus big nasty garbage trucks, too!

While I was at my parent's, I managed to locate the comic copies of the Groo The Wanderer I'd been trying to track down for years: I'm missing a few dozen issues, and early this week I came across a HUGE pile of them at a local bookstore for a pittance! Unfortunately, I'd misplaced the 'missing issue' list I'd made years ago, but today I copied out what was missing, then picked up over 30 comics from this 'backlist' on the way home - excellent! I'll find time to read them this fall... and I also found something else at my parent's place I've been looking for for a decade today too - more next week on that!

In the Russell Books bag: 32 missing issues, dirt cheap and in good shape!

In the afternoon, my lady and I drove out to Sooke( an hour's trip )to attend the annual Canada Day BBQ at our friend Deborah's new place. She and her husband Josh found a truly stunning and unique home, which sits on a hillside with a fantastic view... and includes a full-size concert hall! Just look at these pictures:

Breathtaking: the view, and the sheer ROOM inside this house - plus a hilltop gazebo!

We spent a splendid few hours there at dinnertime, chatting with folks about writing and just admiring the house... I would never have thought such a property was affordable to anyone outside of a millionaire's club. The house was sprawling, quirky, outdoors-focused and even had secret rooms! It was a fun and relaxing evening, one I always look forward to every year, and moreso now than ever - they could host hundreds of people at their new pad, though parking and the steep walk uphill might be issues. Still: wow!

We left Sooke as the sun started to wane, arriving back in Victoria a little after 8:30pm to make our reservations at Vista18, which was really busy for Canada Day, but far less crazy than being among the 50,000 people packing the downtown core tonight. My lady and I were seated facing south as the sun set, highlighting the lone Canadian flag atop Beacon Hill against the magnificent view of the Olympus Mountains( see below ) - truly a stunning picture to take in on our country's birthday. The live jazz band that was playing was the perfect accompaniment to the evening, and we enjoyed each's others company among many smiling faces for hours until it was time for the sky-dance of lights to cap off the night.

Magnificence on the left, and a view of the crowd on the right

We didn't see the fireworks full-on due to the blocking-placement of another building to the west, but their reflections were easy enough to watch in the windows of ours and other buildings. The fireworks crawled like brilliant snakes across the glass as they burst, an effect as enchanting as it sounds... and what a wonderful way to end an amazing day!

July 2 – The Mystic Vale!

Today was less packed with things to do, but still a fantastic Sunday!

After a late breakfast, my girlfriend suggested that we go and visit the gardens near Uvic, which I've not yet seen in all my time here - great idea!

We arrived shortly after noon, and after parking the car in some shade, we descended into... The Mystic Vale! I had no idea the place existed, to be honest: it's a small hidden-away ravine located on the UVic campus, but in the summer sunshine it was... magical. It reminded me greatly of the simple suburban ravine that I grew up next to in Ontario, and the pictures speak for themselves:

The Vale is... deceptively cool and green!

I loved that it was a cool, quiet green space in the middle of a busy city, where you could barely hear the occasional large truck in the distance. The insects that were around didn't bother us at all, and we only ran into two people the whole time we were walking the well-kept trails, out of the burning-bright sunshine.

Across the Uvic entry boulevard, we then visited Finnerty Gardens, which are gorgeous and feature only plants native to Vancouver Island. The many wending paths mostly offered shade from the sun, with ample numbers of benches to sit and admire the botanical delights. I was soon grinning from the magnificent display of well-tended plants, and I think we'll go back again soon for a picnic!

After a few more hours out for milkshakes( white chocolate and hazelnut for me! )at the Interactivity Games Cafe, we called it a day so I could get home and work on my blog. I wasn't tired, per se, but I felt it's been a weekend well-spent.

And I still have tomorrow off, which I plan to use to write all day long... glorious!

This week's blog took longer to write, as my Dragon Dictate software decided that THIS Sunday evening was the perfect time for it to 'optimize' its databases... and shut me out from using it to write my blog - thanks. Good thing my manual typing skills haven't atrophied much, doing all the editing I have for the last year, but it's still frustrating to have a useful tool make itself unavailable.