Injuries, Interests and Improvement

The word of the week is patience.

Note: I've decided to use Georgia as the blog font as of now. It's easier to read on most devices and just looks good. Enjoy!

November 5 - Another Manageable Monday!

My job club at WorkBC today was excellent: we were 'sent out' again to talk to people and try to network( without being annoying )in the downtown area. I went over to a nearby Telus store and had a wonderful conversation with one of the senior staffers there; not a manager, but it was very illuminating. I'm finding that I'm losing my inhibitions about walking up to people and introducing myself, which is great to discover! My professionalism, personable manner and simple friendliness are all coming to the fore, which is what I'll need if I'm to find a job sooner rather than later. A good few hours!

The evening was spent at my local writing group; it was Meet N'Greet night and we player some very amusing games! One of them was to create a story by having each person contribute three words, going around the table until we felt the tale was done. It was hilarious! Here's what we came up with… and don't try to make sense of it, just go with the absurdity( which is what I love about the group ):

Cats, Cracks and Toenails

The killer was a tall man hidden in the closet, where he held a knife and cut toenails of his murder victims. Until he cut himself badly and bled all over the carpet. The cat licked fervently at the pool of blood until it died from the poison that the murderer had consumed earlier in a crystal goblet he bought for his victim. This was Lucky, who was a ferret. He was always the gate of Helle in his heart and his pyjamas - this was lucky, as his toenails were so well defined in shape that they fell into the posh red velvet chair which was weird. Normally, velvet chairs did not exist in closets. But: the velvet was Helle's Finest Brand, Satan's gift to Lucky. He pulled apart the chair that stupid Lucky had chosen to do his business. Undead cats were purring madly outside, which made the velvet chair tremble in pleasure. Suddenly the murderer looked in the garbage and found a nervous ferret dropping a soul-stealing three-pronged fork. The demonic fork hit the ground clattering in a ruckus, opening up an old wound from past toenails found buried in the chest of Lucky. Cats and poisoning paraphernalia were sucked into a red velvet crack. The killer screamed with rapturous joy as everything disappeared.

November 6 - Wrist update

Just a brief update about the tendon tension in my wrists: it's easing, but only gradually. I still can't pick up heavy objects properly or hold things for very long, but the day-to-day pain has eased a fair bit. It still becomes very noticeable when I type for too long or try to game( none of my rare Xbox sessions lasts more than 60 mins )so I'm still far from where I'd like to be. But I'm treating each wrist( especially the left one )daily with heat and cold, so I hope that that's the reason for the gradual improvements I'm seeing. Maybe by the summer I'll be able to carry groceries all the way home without resorting to a backpack…

November 7 - A live Book Launch?

Today was very interesting, come the evening: I attended a live book launch on FBook.

Or tried to. There was a lot of enthusiasm on the author's part, but the planning sort of fell down in the face of having 400 people trying to keep up with a refreshed FBook fan page. All too soon, I scooted off to a TinyChat channel with about two dozen other people, and there the fun began!

Turns out that a few of those folks were friends with the author, one of the Babylon5 main cast whose book memoir launch it was this evening. It was totally unexpected and I ended up hanging around with them for quite a few hours, apart from the time spent trying to get my chat client to work properly. In the end, I was blathering merrily along on my webcam to the others, being an entertaining wit and managing to tie the discussion together quite neatly throughout the evening. I made a few new friends and felt quite good, as I felt that people were people no matter who they knew and that for myself, I was a person they enjoyed talking to, despite not being famous - I was just myself.

That made it a very bright evening indeed!

November 8 - Meeting People

The book launch yesterday got me thinking: how do I meet people? What do I do to meet people, online or off, and who am I when I do that?

It's an interesting line of thought, really. To a stranger, you're a totally new person - hence the need for a good first impression. But it's more than that: why would they still want to talk to you, if you're you?

Alex Debelov, co-founder of The Kairos Society, puts his money where his mouth is. As one of the creators of the invite-only entrepreneurial group of college students aiming to direct the future of their generation, he's done some pretty amazing things so far. Have a look at his words on how he met Steve Wozniak and the Russian president, using only honesty and bring straightforward about his goals. It's inspiring and like last night in a way, shows that you really can meet people from anywhere, anytime, just by being yourself.

November 9 - BSG: Blood and Chrome!

YES! After a LOT of back-and-forth, the SyFy( argh, that name! )Channel in the US finally released the pilot for the now-cancelled Battlestar Galactica: Blood And Chrome as a webseries today! The two hours is cut into twelve-minute chunks, making it a treat to watch; there's so MUCH eye-candy that it's nice to take it in smaller doses. Pin on your Viper wings and see what's waiting for you:

November 10 - New duds and LEGO

All right, it's been a VERY blah week for me, so two things to cheer me up.

One: a new winter jacket, the first I've bought in almost a decade. Yes, that means I'm either cheap or I take care of my things… or maybe both. It's warm, waterproof and best of all: stylish! For those of you who know me, my fashion sense can be, er, underwhelming at most times. So to wear something that fits perfectly AND looks good is a real ego-booster for me. I might even post a pic to FBook, I like it that much!

Two: LEGO! Yes, I admit I have a soft spot for the plastic bricks, but only because people can do so MANY amazing things with them! Check out this incredible meter-long ship, inspired by the Homeworld series of PC games from a few years ago. Incredible! Be sure to check out the rest of the photos from this fantastic set...

Click for a HUGE image to check out the details; those are real lights inside!

As well, there's gallery of a Stargate Atlantis diorama( if you can call it that )made by a fifteen-year-old boy! The detail work on the ship is magnificent, so make sure you check out the other pictures in the link. In the meantime, I give you the Daedalus:

You HAVE to click this to see the details!

 November 11 - Beauty Remembered

This morning I attended the Remembrance Day ceremonies here in Victoria, down at the Parliament Buildings - the first time I had done so anywhere, in many years. 

It was overcast, with occasional raindrops appearing here and there. A large crowd had gathered by the cenotaph at the end of Parliament's front lawn, silent save for low-voiced conversations. At the appointed hour, the ceremonies began and a quiet settled over the crowd; even the children were muted in their cries. At the time when two minutes of silent remembrance began, a wind rose across the gathering. Leaves from the trees fell in gentle showers in the silent crowd as the Canadian Flag flew at half-mast on the great flag post above them all. The only noise came as the wind died and a flight of five military prop-planes flew over in homage to the fallen. As the speeches of the Lt. Governor began, a gun crew let off shots once per minute, booming across the harbor as the skies poured a gentle mist of rain onto the peaceful gathered citizens. It was a beautiful experience and one I'll not soon forget, if ever.

The rest of my day was spent out, trying to gather some sunshine into the clouds of my life of late. It helped to be out with a friend, talking over coffee and enjoying the bustle of people going about their day despite the gloomy clouds. Being inside, among smiling faces, did me some good and I went home late in the afternoon in a mood changed for the better. Not a perfect one, but much improved, I think.

I managed to injure myself today - twice. The first was smashing my shin on the end of my bed, leaving a nasty gouge and quite a lot of pain. The second was when I passed out in the kitchen a few minutes later, probably from concern over the nasty-looking injury and stress. In doing so, I knocked a cast-iron frying pan off the counter… and onto my other leg: instant egg-sized bruise. Luckily I didn't smash my head into anything when I landed on the floor. What worries me was that I woke in a cold sweat. That's not good, especially as I'm not prone to passing out for no real reason; I handle shocks / stress very well. I'll be seeing the doctor ASAP about the cause, but it's a lousy, painful and worrying start to the week.

Change, Choice and Craniums

The word of the week is steadfast.

October 29 - Nothing Yet

It's been a hard week of job searching, putting in targeted resume's and cover letters, then waiting for something to happen.

So far, not a single callback.

At this rate, I'm looking at taking 'a job' by the end of 2012, just to ensure an income stream. I knew it might reach this point, but I'm still depressed that it's come down to joe-jobbing things. I'm more limited in what I can do because of my arms and that's been unhelpful in my search. It's perversely gratifying to hear that places are looking for people with my( over- )qualifications but can only pay half what I was earning before… yet that's the reality. I search, I prepare, I apply… and I try not to dwell on the silence I've got back so far. WorkBC prepared me for this intellectually, but emotionally I still have to deal with it. Networking is the key, but I don't HAVE much of a network here, despite my efforts to cultivate leads from people I know.

Forget the tooth fairy; I want to know what body part(s) the Job Fairy wants. Anyone know?

October 30 - No more bookmarks?

With my Firefox crashing hard this week, I've looked at how best to protect my bookmarks as well as other programs like TooManyTabs. It's crazy-making to see your daily browsing interests and research go 'poof' of a sudden and vanish beyond easy recall. Fortunately, I managed to restore a backup and start using other methods to ensure that things won't get out of hand like that again.

Yet Mozilla is thinking hard about the whole 'bookmark' thing of late and seems to be interested in changing them for the better. What shape this would take is anyone's guess, but I'm all for a searchable pile of data, which would help me organize and relate things that I've surfed over the years. One thing I do know about bookmarks is that they change constantly as sites go dark or shift their content around. Being able to put my finger on what I need months or years later would be amazing - are you listening, Mozilla?

October 31 - Boo Again

This Hallowe'en( hi Lucas! )was one I didn't do much - well, nothing at all. I've been feeling down and tired the last few weeks, perhaps a remnant of pushing so hard to get my novel's second draft done, so I stayed in tonight. I curled up with some hot tea and watched Monsters Vs Aliens and afterwards their Halloween Special that came out last year, which left me in a much better mood.

So did this: news that Captain Power is being rebooted! I've waxed eloquently about this show before, so suffice to say I'm thrilled that it's going to get a shot at being on television again. Though J. Michael Straczynski isn't involved, a lot of the original creators are aboard and look to be treating the material with some measure of respect:

November 1 - Five years of BC Blogging

Five years in BC. Lots of changes in that time, most good, some so-so, a few bad:

I'm free of the job that was killing me: good. I'm free of a relationship: so-so. I'm not free of debt: bad. My family is taken care of financially: very good. My first novel is done: good. I'm still jobless: bad.

Ruminating on this today, I looked back at my previous entries for Nov 1st since moving to BC. They were both longer than today's, but each contained an interesting nugget or two.

In 2008, I'd been here a year and I was still getting used to the idea:

The urban horror scenario of working at the same job, with no real room for advancement, doing the same things month after month, year after year... I am not sure if you can call it ambition, but perhaps better label it as a need for Change. Some years ago, quite a few in fact, I was struck by a sudden vision: a ten-year veteran of MMart, plugging away at night on a novel, hoping to be published, yet never feeling like I was accomplishing anything or getting any OTHER work or interests covered. Apart for the glow of friends and family support, one year would tend to seem like another.

Last year on Nov 1st 2011, I'd taken myself to the hospital with chest pains. That produced this:

My family is taken care of now, so that I don't have to worry much about their futures - my parents retirement or my sister's prosperity, really. As for me, it's been a strange ride; I have few friends out here in BC, for various reasons, but I do not feel the lack most days, given my mental state. Which is one that deals with stress, and heartache, and loneliness every waking hour. Along with joy, growing stability and a new-found( yet tentative )balance while looking towards the future. A future that is closer now more than ever. I'm looking forward to changing jobs, kicking my writing career into high gear, holding out my hand to offer love, and to try to get ahead in a financial sense so that my stress levels will drop all the more. I've been through a lot, accomplished some impressive things, and still feel I have a LOT more to do very soon, for a very long time.

So where am I in 2012?

At a new beginning, if I dare admit it to myself. I'm a little scared, jobless and alone in some ways… but I have a lot to be proud of, with new careers still to be discovered and free to do what I please for myself.

It's not a bad place to be, after all. I just have to keep telling myself that every day.

November 2 - Locking It Remotely!

Remember last week when I said that tech and I have some… differences of opinion?

Today I was reminded of WHY I love technology: it can make your life easier in COOL ways!

Case in point: Lockitron.com which closed their initial fundraiser today( outside of Kickstarter! )only a few hours after I'd heard about it… and signed up for one! Have a look at the video for why I jumped at a chance to own one of these locks:

There's so MANY reasons to get this. No more forgetting my keys elsewhere and being locked out of my house until I can get back to them or have them dropped off. I can do the same for someone else if I'm not home and they need to get into the place but have forgotten their keys. Wireless entry is a bonus too: even if I have my keys, my smartphone will unlock the door when I get home. And as a renter, I can install it in seconds and remove it easily, with no damage, to take it with me to my next place.

But the biggest reason to get it? Peace of mind: I can just check my phone to see if I've locked the door! Who hasn't had that feeling before, especially as you're heading out on a long trip or vacation? YES!

November 3 - How smart?

Brains have been on my… er, mind, of late. Smarts are not always tied to success, so perhaps that's what's been bothering me. I've never discussed my IQ with other people, tried to join MENSA or otherwise made a lot of what's been upstairs, save to treat it with care lest I lose it through abuse. It's also made it hard to relate to people on some levels, as I can talk about things that many other people can't fully grasp or frankly just aren't interested in… so that's a little frustrating, but I don't dwell on it.

The smartest people in the world right now were recently listed on Yahoo and they're a diverse bunch. Quite a lot of achievers on that list( and some over-achievers too )and I feel a distant kinship… but I also wonder how well I'd do in a Jeopardy contest with them. What does it feel like to be the dumbest genius in the room? Each person has their specialty and as the picture above shows, some people work a lifetime to try and discover where their brilliance can focus best.

November 4 - Dull Endings

I've been living the last week under headphones, as the people upstairs are back again - packing, I hope.

But they're making no effort whatsoever to be quiet and though they've been 'good' about the mornings( ie. letting me sleep until 7am )they've been noisy until near midnight many nights. The daytime crashing / running / whatever-the-hell-we-feel-like-dropping-now is fairly steady, so when I'm not out I'm listening to bass-heavy music and popping headache pills( due to the weather )while thinking that December should be a sweet month of change above… and on the bright side, I've heard many songs from many artists that I haven't before.

Change is what it's about, this time of year. The gloomy weather's set in, the leaves are piling up and the air's no longer warm, but crisp. It's funny how reliant we become on habits, forming them quickly without noticing. This week, as Sandy pummeled the east coast, my fave three websites( io9, LifeHacker and Gizmodo )went down as their servers in NYC went offline. I was surprised that they didn't have a backup plan for just such a thing and double surprised that the internet was such a fragile thing; it's supposed to take a lickin' and keep on tickin' but that just didn't happen with websites or cell phones as the power died in the Big Apple. Change was forced upon people by Mama Nature, like it or not. 

And that's it for this week: a whole lot of nothing going on. I'm hoping for at least one interview from my efforts this coming week, as I can't just keep banging my head on the wall hoping to crack the Job Barrier. See you then.

Magic, Movies and Merriment

The word of the week is malaise.

October 22 - The Empire Strikes Back, in PAL?

It's strange in this age of abundant information, that I still find myself surprised when I come across new information about what I loved as a child.

Back in those pre-net days, ANY source of information about Star Wars was a revelation. I read official magazines, subscribed to a few fan rags and watched every 'making of' and 'Behind the scenes' TV special I could find. I thought I'd seen everything there was to know about the original Star Wars Trilogy, but I forgot something important:

Star Wars was( and is )a global phenomenon.

Meaning that specials like this one from Holland were made and NOT SEEN by people elsewhere. This is Part One; you can click to YouTube and the list on the right should have Making EMpire(dutch)02 to show the last 5 minutes. It's damn good stuff, probably even better if you speak Dutch:

October 23 - Feedback!

It wasn't the day that had me excited: I spent most of it in two WorkBC seminars about resume's - not that exciting.

No, it was my trip to the Garrick's Head Pub in the evening that I was really looking forward to. Why?

Feedback on my novel, of course!

Talking with a friend over beers about the second draft of my novel was incredible, especially as he had a LOT of GREAT feedback to give! My ears were open and I was prepared for anything, but to hear him talk about the world and the characters I had created with such curious reverence was spectacular!

Even though he was only a hundred pages in, his comments told me that I hadn't wasted all that time writing. He knew who the characters all were, what they were up to, what the world was about, who the factions were and a myriad of other details that I had woven together into what I hoped was a good story. 

As we talked, I had to fight to keep an idiotic smile off my face, as most every word lifted me to new heights of authorial bliss. I felt my worries about the story being derivative or too complex melting away and I felt, for the first time, the glow that someone feels when they've done the best job they are capable of... and they are told that not in words, but in the satisfied smiles of people reading their work.

I barely felt the sidewalk under my feet as I walked home late - I was lifted by the wings of my story.

October 24 - Detached Dreams

I have never dreamed of love.

It's odd. My dreams are not like other people's, from what I've heard when the subject comes up. I don't have nightmares, for one, not since I was a very small boy. I decided then that I didn't like nightmares and ever since I've been free of those terrors. It's not lucid dreaming per se, as I don't manifest control in my dreams that I'm aware of... but I haven't woken in a terrified sweat for many decades now.

But love? Never. I dream of places, of people, of weird and fantastic worlds mixed in with twists on the mundane, but much like nightmares, love doesn't enter my dreams.

That bothers me on some level, as I can't discern a reason for it. Maybe my subconscious sees it as more of an abstract, as I've never really experienced a 'love event' in my life, so it doesn't know how to manifest one in a dream - save in a surreal, movie-like manner. Maybe it's the intellectual longing I feel, in that the minds I try to connect to in my dreams are far more important than their physical forms. Yet I do dream of beauty, in all its forms... yet nothing in a form I know has a heart I can touch.

October 25 - Friendship

I thought I'd share a little of my thoughts this week, that have percolated up through the muse of my mind.

For whatever reason, friendship has been on my thoughts of late. To me, there are three stages of friendships that form, best illustrated by school, of all things.

In grade school, friendships form honestly. Kids find each other without pretense, stating their interests and likes and hanging around with others who share the same. Friendships formed at this age, to me, seem like those that are the most lasting, as you are basing them on your true self before the world has much of a say in shaping you.

High school introduces a whole slew of factors, much of a different world than before. Here, people learn to bias themselves, stating a whole slew of dislikes and adjusting their social world accordingly. Sadly, I think this is the worst time to make friends, in that so few people can fit inside these self-formed blinders. If you do make lasting friends at this age, you may find that later in life you don't share too many things in common.

University almost hearkens back to grade school, in that honesty comes back into play again. Yet it is tempered by knowledge and the hopefully- developed ability to discern what people are about, underneath their public faces. Shared interests tempered by the desire for honesty AND the ability to see such for the truth mean that friendships formed at this stage of your life are fairly lasting, in the main.

There you have it. As I'm not well-versed on forming friendships outside of work, I won't speak on that... life after university for me was very, very challenging for me personally and so perhaps I've missed out on another stage of friendship. Yet I could be in the middle of another one, so stay tuned - life is always evolving and changing, just like you.

October 26 - Clouded Atlas?

Quite honestly, whatever else I did today didn't matter: tonight was the premier of Cloud Atlas!

Not having read the book ahead of time( on purpose ), I went into the film with an open mind. Three hours later, I walked out with mixed feelings, which is odd for seeing it on an IMAX screen.

I didn't dislike the film, let's be clear on that. But neither was I overwhelmed with it... I think a lot of other people thought it was too long or too complex, but those weren't issues for me. No, I liked the complex plotlines, the multiple characters, the widely varied settings and the twisting dialogue. All together though, it didn't add up to something that was life-changing, or even Very Impressive.

I think the best praise I can give to the film is that I will get it on DVD( or BluRay )and watch it carefully, to get ALL the subtle details I glimpsed in the theatre. Being someone who can process a lot of visual information, there's a lot buried in the film that I believe will make it a better viewing the second time around. And you don't have a pause button in the theatre, so there's something to be said for that.

October 27 - Party Time!

It was a funny day that dragged in parts and hopped by in others. I played some BL2 but had to stop as my wrists were hurting more than they should, so I took a brief break and went to Moka House that turned into a good two hours sitting on the patio. Which was great, as the glass roof and the heaters made the sunless gloom of pouring rain into an enchanting experience of watching water wash the world over the top of a steaming pot of tea. Lovely.

The evening saw me head out for a Halloween party, arriving a half-hour early so I could help with the party setup( unasked; I like to do that sort of thing ). Turns out that people didn't start showing up for another hour AFTER that, so I spent the time very pleasantly getting to know the hosts. Once people started arriving( all of us in costume )things really took off and by 9pm nearly two dozen people were packed into the stylish apartment near Oak Bay, My costume was a hit, alternately creeping people out and impressing them:

This is the least creepy photo of my costume I could find.

I billed myself as a 'World Of Warcraft Reject' which apparently went over so well that I won Funniest Costume - go figure! Other people told me that it was the scariest costume there and I had to agree; the mask disturbs me even under bright light. I do feel bad that it was essentially the same costume that I wore five years ago, but needs must: this year I've had no money to spend and quite frankly with no budget and nowhere to go to, I had no incentive to 'make' anything. But getting the invitation this week from Merrie meant I had a blast tonight; walking home in full costume was awkward but SO worth it... at least two people crossed the street when they saw me coming.

Happy Early Halloween, Victoria!

October 28 - Magic Malaise

As the people upstairs didn't bang things around until well after 1am like Saturday  I actually slept fairly well. But I still found myself slogging around for half the day with no energy, likely due to the lack of sunshine, so-so diet( I need more fruit and veggies! )and a general malaise that's set in from Not Being Employed.

It's really strange, but if you give me free time, I don't want it in more than two-week chunks. Sure, there's a lot I COULD be doing while I am 'free' from a job, but being the person I am, I feel compelled to do ALL that I can to GET back to work. I don't liken it to being lazy... it's more like that whatever I'm doing seems less important than finding work. Transferring my DVD's onto my PC or scanning my book collection into GoodReads sound like great ideas, but I get a few minutes in and I have to stop because of that feeling. I suppose it's drive, of a sort, but it's stopping me from 'enjoying my vacation from work' if you want to put it that way. Which really, when you think about it, has only been since October 14th 2012, as I was decompressing from MMart, dealing with my arm injury, moving from Langford and writing my novel( first AND second draft )since 

Feb 1st 2012 - rather busy, wouldn't you say?

So tonight, I took my friend Merrie( a former co-worker )up on her offer to head to her place, where her boyfriend and some other nice folk were having a friendly game of Magic: The Gathering. I'd given my cards all away back when I moved to BC( they were incredibly outdated and very basic anyway )so I had to try to pick up things again with a loaner deck.

Which I did with a vengeance! I won my first game through good card draws and bad ones for my opponents, which felt great. The second game I played as a member of a pair, which saw us lose to an 'undead' deck rather quickly. Spending hours and hours each week building decks was never my thing back in university and though I saw its effectiveness tonight, I'm not inclined to go out and start picking up Magic cards. I wasn't back then either; I'm much more about the social aspect of a gathering than about winning or losing. After two games, I spent the rest of the eve helping to carve a pumpkin into the likeness of Jack Skellington, which turned out great! The secret? Let someone else handle the details with a sharp knife AND light the semi-finished carving from inside with a bright light to get the final details perfect. I'll post a pic of it next week, I hope!

For some weird, unknown reason, my FireFox has stopped working - it just won't start. Seeing as I've had it customized just the way I like it, this is intensely frustrating. I'm going to have to fight with it this week and I sincerely hope that I don't have to lose all my information and customization by rein stalling it. For now, Chrome is making do... but oh, it does NOT like too many open tabs!