Fantasy, Fraggles and Freaking Out

The word of the week is cumulative. 

Nov 7 - Fantastic Fraggles

When times are bad and things are rough, we usually take solace in that which comforts us: family, food and often fantasy. For me, my family has always been there, but as a backup there has always been fantasy. I grew up with wonderful shows like Fraggle Rock, whose title theme includes the line "Cast your cares away / worries for another day!" which I've always loved; pure escapism at its best. However, the danger lies in ignoring one's problems to cocoon oneself in fantasy - I prefer to use it as a place separate from the world where I can unwind for a little while, to get my mind back into balance and to get me ready to face my problems again. I've always had that mindset, which I think is healthy; I know that reality will always be where I spend the majority of my time, but when I need to, I can use fantasy to give my mind and soul the rest they crave and the creative boost I need to survive. Elves aside, I think that's a healthy way to go through life, especially if you read blogs like mine from last week... stress to the power of ten, thereabouts.

Nov 8 - Three Cars 

If it turns out that I have to get a car, I'd look at something small, an urban vehicle that could fit myself and a few friends; definitely not as small as a SMART though. I've done a lot of looking over the years to keep current, and I think I've narrowed my current choices down to three cars: The Fiat 500, a Mazda2 or the Honda Fit. Each offer plenty of value for the dollar and most have been on the market for a few years, so it's possible I can find a used one for a decent price. Not that I'm rushing out to buy one, but as many of you know, I like to be prepared and not be forced to make a hasty decision I'll regret later on. 

The Fiat 500 has a lot of character, but like the Mazda2 it doesn't have a lot of flexible interior room, which the Honda Fit has in spades. None of the cars have more than adequate power for their size, which coming from an old 4-cylinder 1994 GrandAm, I can appreciate and am used to. Price, value for money, size / space and fuel economy and overall style are my main considerations for purchase - whenever that is. For now, I'm content to window shop and plan. As it will likely be a used car, colour will be a toss of the dice... 

Nov 9 - MEETING MADNESS MEANS CIAO MMART ASAP. 

It was an all-day Manager's Meeting today for me, and it started out with me being 10 minutes late for a 10am 'sharp start' - not good, but unavoidable with my parent's car needs. I called ahead to say I would be late, but the CSR didn't deliver the msg - that irked me. The day went downhill from there; the meeting was FULL of hypocrisy, so much that at times I wanted to run around the room screaming and tossing paper at people. Why would I be so upset? Because my DM lauded the other temp DM's efforts in helping to stabilize our district these last 2 months AND MADE NO MENTION WHATSOEVER OF MY OWN INSANELY HARD WORK AND EFFORTS IN FRONT OF EVERYONE THERE. 

Deep breath. 

What hypocrisy, you ask? Well, ALL day long we spoke about RECOGNIZING the efforts of employees, treating them with RESPECT and ensuring they feel VALUED. Every time these phrases came up, my eye twitched and I felt like someone poked me in the stomach. It was all I could do to make it through the day with a stony, sometimes-smiling face and contribute somewhat to the discussion. I really should have just walked out, pleading illness, as I was feeling sick to my stomach by day's end. I've NEVER had to exercise such self-control as I did today, to keep from exploding - I had that zoned-out headspace feeling, where I felt like I was sitting inside a fishbowl while my emotions raged. It was bad, but I made it through without showing more than the tiniest of outward signs that I was upset. It's not yet time to leave, but I'm so close and today cinched it for me: I can no longer work for MMart. 

I did however, have a single bright spot: I'm arranging to meet with someone I've been trying to see for a while now. I'll be setting up a time and place to see her in the next week, when we'll talk and see where that leads us to next. 

Deep breath. Again. If I could have afforded to quit today, I would have.

Nov 10 - Prime Time, no Optimus - Telus About it!

Not much to say about work today, save that I got it over with and went home feeling empty - there's nothing there for me now, in any measure. I'll be leaving as soon as possible, depending on how several job applications go - I feel no sense of loyalty whatsoever. Having gone through all that I have the last 2 months for NO recognition by the company is crazy-making to me. Once I have a new job CONFIRMED, I'll be putting in my 2 weeks notice. Sad. 

Which is why I take refuge in things that make me smile, such as tech like the Transformer Prime, which is the next tablet to come down the pipe from ASUS. It's the successor to my current Transformer tablet I purchased in June 2011, and I'll likely NOT upgrade until the same time in 2012 - there's no need and I want to ensure the first batch gets all the bugs out before I buy. I usually do that with all the tech I purchase, but in the original Transformers case, I needed a laptop replacement ASAP as well as a substitute for a cell phone.


Which I had some GOOD news on this week too: I spoke to Telus again and finally got someone who knew their way around their account system. Turns out I do NOT have to pay a penalty to get a NEW phone activated on my CURRENT contract after all; given that the defective phone I was sent was returned, it cancelled any penalty for changing phones / contracts. I still HAVE to wait out the current term of my contract, but I can add in any phone I want, without penalty. So I'll watch carefully and do my research... and think about how I can poke Telus in the eye for the past year of stupidity they've shown such a long-term customer.

Nov 11 - The Gift Of Memory

Remembrance day is many things to me: honouring the dead, keeping their memories alive and giving thanks for their sacrifices. I've not had any direct family in the military, such as a brother or father or other close family member, but I've always felt a connection with the better ideals that those who choose to serve their country( and also the world )represent. It's a hard thing to put yourself in harm's way, to be ready to give your life for others... it's no wonder that duty and honour have gone hand-in-hand for as long as there has been a military tradition in the world. Which sadly has been as long as there has been war; it says a lot about our civilization's history, I think. 

Every day we live free is a gift.

Take the time to remember those who gave up their futures,

So that you could have the freedom to choose yours.

Make the most of their memory. 

Nov 12 - 7777 hits at Noon today!

This blog has seen a fair number of hits over the last 4 years, averaging 5.28 hits per day with some high and low points along the way. Today it hit a lucky number around noon: 7,777 hits! 

Now, I don't put much stock in things superstitious, but I've never been able to shake a small part of me that LIKES numbers such as that, or dates too. Just yesterday was 11 / 11 / 11, a very auspicious day for getting married across the globe, if only because it's really, really easy to remember, obviously. These little things make me smile, as they are part of the daily tapestry that we sometimes forget to pay attention to. Life's little perks and coincidences should not go unnoticed for too long, or the larger things start to lose their meaning too. Balance in everything... but not by the numbers alone. 

Which is why I spent ALL of today relaxing; a healthy dose of Spongebob and The Penguins Of Madagascar competed with naps and some writing stints to soothe my mind and soul after such a rough week. I'm no longer as bitter as I was a few days ago, just resigned to the fact that my hard work is never the 'right' kind of hard work... and that I need to work smarter, elsewhere. ASAP. 

Nov 13 - Talented Relaxation

It was a relaxing third day away from work, though again the cartoons on TV leave a lot to be desired these days - even the venerable TMNT have vanished, which is a bad sign sliding towards more Pokemon and YuGiOh, bleh. I still got in a healthy mix of relaxing today however. A few hours of Battlefield3, with one game where I was score leader( go me! the rest of the team stank! )which was good fun, as I died less and scored better than I did last time I played. 

I had lunch with a friend who was back on the Island from Vancouver, where he's pursuing a solid career in the medical field; I'm really happy he's able to do so well in that, it's quite inspiring. Not that I want to go into medicine, just that he's able to follow his dreams AND talents while making a great living.

Other talented folk I hung out with today were my NWN friends in the evening; one told a great story involving love, betrayal and dragons - never an easy mix. He pulled it off brilliantly, showing off some incredible area designs that are his hallmark( hours and hours of work there, btw! )that really showed the story off to its best advantage. The showstopper was a massive castle area called Castle Gygaxia, a nod to the late Gary Gygax, co-creator of Dungeons and Dragons and the man who made much of my childhood fantasy world possible. Hats off to Gary, and to his legacy living on in the many talented people I game with and call friends, past present and future. 

That about wraps it up - three days off work have done wonders for my mental balance and I'm feeling little now other than the growing desire to be rid of this albatross around my neck called MMart. I'll be the better for it.