Perceptions, Persistence and Paper Spaceships

The word of the week is persistence.

January 7 - Homeless Stars

I'd be lying if I said I didn't have a lot on my mind this month.

It's always fallen to me to be the one who worries and plans for the worst… and I've become rather good at it. But it's meant my mind is ALWAYS chewing away at the gristle of doubt and as such I usually find myself running in mental loops about What Might Happen.

What may happen in the next couple of months has my mind spinning with doubt, despite my efforts.

So I have to KEEP reminding myself that things can change for the better, as well as worse. That my attitude is what will bring my perceptions around to the positive, in the end, no matter what happens. I can only plan to a point with the resources I have and go with what ends up coming my way - success or failure aren't permanent states, no matter what I think right now.

 
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Just look at how some of the most famous people of our time had to deal with adversity on their own journey towards success. Many Oscar winners were homeless at various points in their lives, facts which I was totally unaware of. When J.K. Rowling was writing her stories, she was divorced with a small child and living off welfare in a tiny apartment. She and so many others refused to wallow in their situation, bad as it might be; instead, they worked their way through to find success in their own way, on their own terms.

Success is a Journey.... *click for FULL size*

My success is waiting for me. I just have to find a way to get there this year.

 

January 8 - A Memory Of Light

Yes! The FINAL book of Robert Jordan's Wheel Of Time series is out today, number fourteen! AMOL is something I've been wanting to read for quite a few years, if only to see how it all gets wrapped up.

However, the digital age has not quite caught up with publishers, even one as large as TOR: I can't purchase AMOL for my Kindle - at least not yet. So I'll just have to wait, as I'm trying to cut down on book-space being used in my place and the WOT books are monsters in size, relatively; AMOL is nearly a thousand pages long! Parsing that will be a read of a few weeks, even for me, when I get it. If you don't mind some spoilers, there's a solid review of it HERE, from which I've pulled this quote:

The result is not The Wheel of Time you may be familiar with. A Memory of Light is a brutal, bruising, 900-page war novel that kicks off with all hell breaking loose and doesn't pause for breath until the ending.

January 9 - More Mech games?

Just as I'm digging into the meat of MechWarrior Online( I found a MWO MechLab simulator! )this month, I've discovered another PC video game based on the BattleTech world: MechWarrior Tactics. It looks incredible AND it's as close to the old tabletop game as you can get, visually and in terms of play!

The game is browser-based, meaning it's accessible from a wide variety of computers and not as dependent on having the best video card you can afford. But that's not the selling point. What's killer about MWT is that it replicates the hex-based turn-by-turn combat of the old tabletop BattleTech game, using virtual mechs moving around simulated battlefields 

in a quasi-real-time manner.

Click to see the AMAZING action detail!

Put simply: you choose your mechs, give them orders and watch the carnage erupt! Add tactics, damage, salvage, customization and many other factors to the mix and you have an engrossing game, one I will definitely have to check out. Where I'll find the time is another matter.

January 10 - Miss Iron Man?

Speaking of mechanical action, check out this lovely bit of Photoshopping:

Sure, I know it's Iron MAN, but I'm quite happy to see a woman step into the role. The fact is, heroes can be anyone and I'm certainly pleased to see Sandra Bullock put into the role, as I'm a big fan of hers both on and off the screen. Gender-switching roles for superheroes has long been a staple of fandom, as you can see by the picture below.

The Justice League... gender-swapped!

January 11 - Space Station Tour

Ever since I was a little kid, being an astronaut has stayed in my head as one of the coolest things one can do with one's life. Of course, I was a little disappointed to learn early that ships like the Enterprise existed only in fiction, which I think sparked my imagination that's guided me towards writing. 

Sparking the imagination of today's kids is something the video below will do in spades too: it's a guided tour of the International Space Station! Almost 30 minutes long, it satisfies a hunger I've had to actually SEE inside the wonder that's serenely orbiting our planet! Commander Sunita Williams takes you on a high-def journey through our planet's orbiting foothold in space, which is a lot noisier than you'd think… but that's MORE than compensated for by the view out the windows:

Astronaut Karen Nyberg, STS-124 mission specialist, looks at Earth!

January 12 - Paper Spaceships

One of my earliest memories of spaceships has to do with… paper.

A student in one of my mom's classes had the incredible skill of creating things with paper. Generously, he created several paper spaceships and gave them to my mom to give to me, as he'd heard that I liked Star Wars. I remember that they were fairly large, well-put-together and colourful! He'd taped the edges to give the whole ship strength and spent what was probably a ton of time colouring in parts of the ship, adding detail like windows and ship numbers. They were incredible and to this day I've always had a fascination with papercraft: it's like model building, but much easier, if somewhat less permanent.

It may be made of paper, but it can still take out the Death Star!

On a whim, I decided to have a look online and see what paper spaceships were out there. Wouldn't you know I found a TON of incredible projects? One of them really stood out: models from a game I'd played way back in the 1990's, from Wing Commander III:

Click to see all the precision detail that's crafted from PAPER!

If they'd taught THIS sort of arts and crafts in school, I'd have a FLEET of ships by now I think!

January 13 - Waiting …

The job search has me frustrated right now.

I'm throwing applications into what seems like a giant black hole; again, just what the folks at WorkBC said it would feel like. Still, knowing it and LIVING it aren't the same. 

It's really hard, sapping the enjoyment I try to find in my 'free time' while I'm 'funemployed' … every day. In effect, I have 'Life Block' which is similar to Writer's Block: I can't find the joy in anything I'm doing lately( I did mention that a few months ago in another blog entry ).

To cheer myself up, I'll need to find new ways of viewing every day. On the cheap, mainly.

Getting out for walks, NOT thinking about money, writing a bit every day, blocking OUT the Job Search Black Hole… all that and more, so I can get into 2013 like a new pair of shoes to break it in and not clump around in mud-caked brickboots weighing me down. I'll sing a little tune to keep my spirits smiling…

A song - one of many from Reverbnation.com

THIS is the week an employer will call me. All it will take is one call to make me happy, as it means someone's noticed me and thinks I'm a good candidate.

One call. It's not much to ask.

Beginnings, Barbarians and Bright Sides

The word of the week is trepidation.

December 31 - Star Wars... Organ?

It's New Year's Eve, and I stayed in.

Mainly because I'm just still so damn tired and alcohol won't help me get better. So I snoozed, I watched a few of the celebrations on TV and in general relaxed. For once, I didn't dwell on the year gone past or wonder about the future, but instead took the moments as they arrived and tried to enjoy them along with the rest of the world as 2012 came to a close.

I also surfed the web a long bit, feeling a little bored which is unusual for me. I came across this beauty, a gem of a LEGO creation that took a LOT Of planning and effort to create. It's a hand-cranked organ, laid out as a cylinder depicting numerous scenes from the various Star Wars films, rendered in loving detail AND according to a precise pattern. Said pattern allows a set of arms positioned to one side to 'read' the organ and this play the Star Wars them song as the cylinder is rotated. Brilliant!

My thoughts? Build one of these depicting New York City and have it play Auld Lang Syne at New Year's, which I'll bet you didn't know was a poem written by none other than the great Scot, Robbie Burns!

January 1st 2013 - Another New Beginning

The year has turned and it's now 2013; a lucky year for us all, I hope.

The good news is that I'm no longer coughing and that I've been able to get out of the apartment for the last few days, albeit for short jaunts and not walks longer than ten minutes. I'm still seriously lacking energy but I'm definitely on the road to recovery, helped by the fact that we've kept the place warm and I've done little but rest most days. I hope the flu season is behind me and I'm being VERY careful.

That said, the bad news is that my sister and I are still both jobless. I've been working diligently to apply to as many jobs as I can with targeted flair, sometimes two or three a day. Now that I'm able to get out of the apartment and not cough constantly while trying to speak, I'll be FINALLY able to go to a few places in person to try to make an impression. The next few weeks should be very busy for us both.

January 2 - Car of the future?

Since I'm looking to the future this week, why not dream a little?

I've mentioned before that I like alternative vehicles, small cars or electric, that appeal to my sense of tech and less to my sense of not really needing a car - yet. It's slightly affected my job search in that I can't apply for jobs that require 'full mobility' across the lower part of the island, but that's minor.

What caught my eye today was the Tesla-S, a next-generation electric vehicle that's just being released for sale in North America. It's packed full of electronics, can do 0-60 VERY quickly and has a range of 300 miles for the high-end model. It's sleek, sexy and something that I'd love to have in my garage… if I HAD a garage, that is. Unfortunately, the high-end model is a bank-busting $80K USD, so I'll have to be swimming in success in a few year's time in order to afford it. Still, since petroleum isn't getting any cheaper, I think full-on electric is the way to go even moreso than jumping on the hybrid bandwagon.

January 3 - Robotech: Valkyrie Project

Fans of the 1980's series Robotech number in the millions, from all over the world. Some of the things they have created in homage to Robotech are astonishing, from costumes to art to little painted figures with incredibly realistic detail.

Fan films are also out there and one of the best is also one of the most recent. The Robotech Valkyrie Project hails from Argentina, of all places, and is as breathtaking as it is short. It illustrates what today's F/X artists can do on modern computers, working with very little resources yet being able to create extremely realistic effects. Have a gander and check out some of the other Robotech fan videos once you're finished gaping in awe( use the CC button for subtitles ).

January 4 - Dave The Barbarian

It's come to my attention that though I've mentioned the Great Little Show that is Dave The Barbarian a few times in my blog over the years, I've never devoted an entry to it by itself. So here it is.

Dave The Barbarian was a too-brief animated series that debuted in 2004 and sank swiftly into oblivion for the usual reasons( ie. stupid network execs ). I was lucky enough to catch it when it aired and recorded roughly half the episodes, which is VERY lucky as it's never been released on DVD - nor is it likely to be.

The show is a parody of the Heroic Fantasy; there's a solid summary of it here at TV Tropes.org for you. It's a show full of jokes, puns and gags, only half of them lowbrow and all of them funny. Fortunately, a few people have collected ALL the episodes and made them available on YouTube - I'll be slowly going through them again to see the ones I don't have to cheer myself up in the coming months. Yes, they're THAT good. Start your own Chucklefest by watching the intro and then the first episode here:

January 5 - Rain, Rain and more Rain.

It's now well into the rainy season here in Victoria.

From November through February, it rains here a LOT; we get 2/3 of the rain for the year during this time. While there are sunny breaks here and there, for the most part it's grey and cloudy when it's not actually wet outside - not conducive to staving off a cold, I have to say. On the bright side, during the summers Victoria is the driest city in Canada and we get more overall sunshine per year than anywhere else in the country; I'm sure I've mentioned that before.

Which means that I've been making good use of my sunlight-lamp while stuck inside for the last month. I won't get a tan from it but it's certainly helped keep me on an even keel with the lack of actual shiny rays from the sky. It's been hard to stay focused AND upbeat since finishing my novel's second draft in October, given the total lack of response to my job search.

The weather, in other words, isn't helping.

Nor is the season; now is the time when all sorts of seasonal workers are being let go from their busy-during-the-holidays jobs. Meaning I've got even MORE competition to overcome in the next few months, which doesn't make me feel any better. But I'll just have to buckle down and be better than all of them to land a job.

Soon.

January 6 - Restless Worry

I managed to get out again today, during the morning when it wasn't raining - yet. It was nice.

What isn't nice is the itch I feel to be DOING something, all the time, of late. I feel as though I've lost a month of precious time in December to the pneumonia and it's coming back to haunt me. I'm finding myself unable to relax for very long; reading or playing a game of some kind very quickly leads my thoughts back to finding a job or worrying in general. All the games I've put on my PC this week have gone untouched, which is unusual for me - another sign that my subconscious is being strained.

I did pop online briefly to visit friends in NWN, but as they were having an 'evil' quest of dark elves / drow, I bowed out early. I don't like playing a drow, as it's always about intrigue, selfishness and backstabbing. Not my style and not relaxing for me, especially in my frame of mind of late, unfortunately.

To bed, to begin a new week in a new year, with positive thoughts.

My wrists have been bothering me again this week, I'm not sure why. I've done little to aggravate them over the last month, staying off the Xbox and using the PC's mouse or trackball fairly sparingly. Perhaps since I've started to use the latter more this week that's caused a complaint to spring up; I don't know. At least I'm feeling better and I hope that by this time next week some of my missing energy will come back and I won't get dizzy from standing up too quickly any more. Rest, proper food and exercise will complement a determined mind and strength of will to persevere over the coming few weeks.

Games, Gifts and Gauls

The word of the week is convalescence.

December 24 - Rags to Riches

It's always been inspiring to me to hear stories about how people have picked themselves up from nothing and made themselves a success in life. Not that I've come from an impoverished background by any means as a child, but I can definitely identify in the last fifteen years with people who have had to struggle to attain what they wanted in life. My own situation right now is rather tenuous and I'm looking at some hard, hard choices in the next few months if things don't improve. So keeping in mind that some people only found success through adversity is definitely what I need to hear right now.

Read about Twenty Inspiring Rags-To-Riches stories here. Take a guess as to which one I identify with the most of all of them. Hint: it's not about the money.

 

December 25 - A Quiet Christmas

I'm still feeling very tired while recovering from my battle with pneumonia these last few weeks. Today I just spent putting about the apartment, shuffling papers and reading books under my sunlight-lamp. My sister was away as of late afternoon, out with some friends for the evening. I don't begrudge her that at all, as I think it's fabulous that she has such a big social circle here. Me, not so much… but then I've always gone for quality over quantity, I'm content with that.

My place doesn't QUITE look like this...

I didn't mind being alone for half the day. It's not much of a Christmas this year, as my dad's working all this week until Friday and so we're not doing 'Christmas Dinner on Christmas Day' because of that. To be honest, I'd probably sleep through a good part of it. I'm still exhausted and have VERY little energy to do much during the day; it's all I can do to job search and work on resumes and cover letters. There's half a hundred things I'd LIKE to be doing, but the days tick away with very little else getting done due to my lack of focusing ability… at times I can feel my concentration slipping away and I just fall over into an impromptu nap. It's frustrating, but at least I'm not missing work while I've been recuperating these last few weeks…

December 26 - No Boxing Day Crazy for me!

I perused all the sales flyers this year, as I always do, and very, very little that piqued my interest… and not just because I can't afford a much at all right now.

No, there's other factors at play. For one, I don't NEED anything. Sure, a new PC or bigger, fancier TV would be nice, but that's just my inner tech g33k speaking; I have a great TV and PC and many other gadgets that work just fine, thanks. The thrill of the hunt has also waned for me; I know the cost will have to be paid, in various ways, for far longer than the thrill lasts. 

So I contented myself with going out later in the week( not today, are you nuts? )and getting several Blu-Rays for myself at Best Buy for a deep discount. I picked up Super 8( 70's nostalgia! )and The Man With No Name Trilogy of Sergio Leone's films starring Clint Eastwood, which I've always loved. Nothing much else appealed to me, especially for the prices that I thought were still too high for recent movie releases. On the bright side, I saw that all three seasons of Arrested Development were on sale for $9.99 each, which I hope will entice more people to watch that wonderful show. New episodes are coming in 2013!

I did spend a few hours in the evening at an 'online' christmas party with my NWN friends. We ran a short adventure and hung out in a holiday-themed special area designed just for the occasion, complete with the gifting of presents! Guess what my long-lived character Nich got? Have a look:

Sure, it's the same gift as last year, but this time it's PERMANENT!

 

December 27 - Family and F.lux

As I'd mentioned, my family did Christmas Dinner today at my parent's place on Bear Mountain. It was rather low-key, with my sister taking over the making of said dinner deliciousness and doing a fantastic job of it! We watched several animated Christmas TV specials that my mom had recorded this past month, including Merry Madagascar which definitely made me laugh. It was a great time spent with my family just relaxing and enjoying one another's company, which really is what the holidays are all about. As a bonus, my sister spent quite a lot of time cuddling her cat, whom my parents have been taking care of for her as our place in the city doesn't allow pets. It's a great arrangement for him, as he has a balcony and ever-present retirees to take care of him. My sister does miss her cat a lot, though.

The fireplace is off... but there's a fire log on the TV! zzZz

I also discovered a neat little program for the PC today called F.lux - a play on the word 'Lux' or lighting. I've found that as the day goes on and turns into night, I have to constantly adjust the brightness on my screen so that my eyes aren't seared by levels that are fine when the sun's shining in the windows but is WAY too high a brightness level for typing at night. It's a little annoying to have to do this every day, so I was thrilled to find f.lux, which is free! You just set it for your location and what type of lighting levels / colour temperatures you prefer, then it does the rest automatically. It's been great so far, a nice little Christmas bonus!

December 28 - An Interview... sort of?

Wow! One of the emails I sent out earlier this week came BACK as a response! The local community center here in Cook St Village said that they'd be pleased to have me in today to answer any questions I had about their posting for an Admin Manager at the end of the day today. So I put myself together and went down there in the late afternoon to talk to the Board VP about the job. She was very nice…. but very busy. I only managed to get in a few minutes of questions before other matters called her away from her office, leaving me to fend for myself until I realized she was going to be busy until well after the place closed for the day. I was pleasant and hung around for a little bit to make a good impression, but then I excused myself and headed home, wondering how all that might turn into a call for an interview. I hope it does, as it's the first positive response I've had in almost a year of looking…

On the bright side, my 'personal' business cards arrived today from VistaPrint! They look amazing: all black with sharply-defined text, VERY professional-looking. I'm all set to network with people and do more than a few walk-in introductions in January, to help get me over the no-callback slump of the last six months. Now, when asked for my card, I'll be all set!

December 29 - Asterix!

 

As I've mentioned in a previous blog entry,  Asterix The Gaul was a formative influence on me as I was growing up. Its sharp sense of humour and engaging stories made it a perfect read for me in my early years and the fact that there were dozens of full-colour comic softcovers to read kept me entertained quite satisfactorily. 

Most of the characters who appear in the series. Oh, the NAMES they have!

Many other people must love Asterix as well, as there was a recent article on io9.com espousing the many good qualities of the long-lived characters and the world they inhabit. In fact, a group of neurosurgeons recently compiled a cheeky study of all the hundreds of head injuries that occur in the Asterix comics. It's worth a read for their conclusion alone!

December 30 - Games

A lot of today was spent fiddling around with my PC's games, after tossing a lot of game boxes I'd been hanging onto earlier today in a 30-minute burst of energy that didn't last. Seeing as my Amiga didn’t sell despite being listed on eBay three times, I've packed it away again - at least until the next auction, whenever that is. One of these days I'll be able to tidy and organize my things the way I've been meaning to… call it an early 2013 resolution.

I have at least twice as many games as this. Minus the boxes, now ...

No, what I did was move a lot of games around on my PC to make space, after installing an 'extra' drive I've had in another linux-based PC that's not being used. This allowed me to move a ton of stuff 'around' on the PC to clear up some room; it's an odd truism that no matter how much space you have, stuff always expands to fill it. At least now I have room to install a ton of games that I've had hanging around on the shelves for a few years, though some of them will need tweaking in order to run under Windows7. I'll also have to MAKE the time to play them, as my habit with my games is to play them for a few hours and forget about them again for months, even years, at a time. Even NWN has been seeing a LOT less playtime in 2012; maybe 2013 will be the Year Of the Game for me?

Nah. I'd rather 2013 was my Year Of The Novel. Now THAT's worth making some room for!

I'm feeling almost normal again, except for the lack of energy, but that's normal from what my doctor told me. It will be at least a month before I am 'back' to my old self again, so I'm taking it easy and not pushing myself to do much each day. The coughing's completely gone now and all I have left to heal are the muscles in and around my right side, which complain whenever I pick up anything more than a paperback book. Seeing as my tendonitis does the same thing now and again of late, I'm not doing any lifting of any sort for a while. It's rest and recovery from the pneumonia for most of January, with job-searching and, I hope, interviews in the meantime.