Daytime, Discussions and Dry Hands

The word of the week is primaveral.

March 18 - First daytime shift

After getting about four hours sleep on Saturday and Sunday night this past weekend, I started my first day shift today at 10 AM with a smile on my face.

It wasn't as a difficult shift as I'd have thought considering my lack of sleep, as my enthusiasm for working while the sun is in the sky carried me through the whole day. As well, the people I work with are generally genial as are most of the customers who wander in through the door during the day. I found several similarities to my last job in that I was always busy and always dealing with customers in one way or another, as someone was always at my elbow asking questions during the day - but I don't mind that as I'm always helping people in small ways and offering my advice instead of trying to fix difficult problems with my hands tied behind my back by my employer.

That's really a great feeling and one that I can get used to.

I went home tired but not frustrated and my night's sleep was actually rather restful, as I wasn't carrying a bundle of work stress into the next day all over again. Sure, there's other stresses that I'm trying to minimize but it's a great relief to know that the only challenges I have ahead of me at work are mainly learning-related in getting used to their policies and being trained in their methodology.

That, I can do.

March 19 - Calvin and Hobbes, Animated!!!

On my bookshelf are every Calvin and Hobbes book released by Bill Waterson; I treasure them all.

What's not on my bookshelf (or any other shelf for that matter) are animated movies starring those same characters. Mr. Waterson has never authorized any sort of animated adaptation of his beloved comic strip and is unlikely to do so, as he is ferociously protective of his creation to the point where each strip might as well have been carved in granite, unchangeable by time for all eternity.

Fortunately, some fans had taken it upon themselves to do the impossible and breathe life into Mr. Waterson's creations. Below is the one and only animated short starring Calvin and Hobbes, culled from the still frames of the strip which were used as keyframes to form the completed animation. It was pulled from YouTube several times and I can't guarantee that the link below will remain active forever, but here's the link to my Dropbox folder, where I have downloaded a copy of the video just in case it vanishes again. Enjoy!

March 20 - Drying with Blades

Believe it or not, I was impressed today by hand dryer, of all things.

You know, hand dryers: those noisy loud things located in public restrooms the world over that take forever to dry your hands and blow cold air right up until the last few seconds you're using them.

Well, the mall downtown has installed a pair of next-generation dryers and I was shocked by how well they worked - without heat! They are made by Dyson and are called the AirBlade Mk2.

Now, don't get me wrong: these things won't change the world. But I believe when it comes to technology, all the little things added together will make our lives easier and allow us to shift the burden from just getting through our day to figuring out what were going to do with that while not worrying about all the little details. See how that works, now we can waste less time drying our hands.

What will you do with those extra 30 seconds two or three times every day from now on?

March 21 - First Day Of Spring, Again

It's official: we had no snow this winter here in Victoria.

Sure, we did have some frost and some flakes did fall from the sky but not a one stuck around on the ground to get its photo taken.

Spring arrived early here on South Vancouver Island, with blossoms bursting from the trees all over the city:

Victoria really is a beautiful place to live and I'm very grateful that throughout the cold months, I could look out my front window and see only green grass. The fact that it was the cloudiest winter on record here in Victoria does mean that I spent more time curled up next to my sunlamp, but I'll take that concession if it means that I don't have to wear winter boots or watch out for ice lurking under snowdrifts.

March 22 - Mechs: Then And Now

When I purchased my first Pentium-based PC twenty years ago back in the early 1990s, I was thrilled with the power it possessed in playing games. The video resolution and speed were incredible when it came to playing games like X-Wing or Descent… or Mechwarrior.

Yes, the original Mechwarrior2( and the later PentiumEdition! )that was released in 1995 was a benchmark in the videogame industry, that is still fondly remembered today by many, myself included. It was the perfect combination of story, graphics, sound and pure fun that has yet to be equaled even on modern machines. Sure, the graphics are really dated and art even "true" three-dimensional constructs, but that doesn't matter; once you started to play the game it pulled you into the 31st century and never really let you go.

Since then, there have been several iterations of Mech games that have come and gone but until the recent MechwarriorOnline that came out in mid-2012, none of them really captured the fun of Mechwarrior2. Below is a video timeline of every Mechwarrior game released that shows you just how far we've come since the first pixels were put together in the shape of a 50 ton Hunchback mech:

March 23 - What to do with me?

I received a bit of a shock this week when my new schedule came out of work:

I'd only been marked down for two shifts, total.

Needless to say, I felt disappointed after having come from a full five shifts per week on midnights. I kept my calm however and talk to several managers, keeping my tone light but still requiring answers.

As it turns out, there is still some discussion going on about how to best use me and in what role when it comes to ensuring I have the proper training before I go out on the sales floor in technology. While I do know the business I don't know the specifics of how Staples operates and so it was decided this week to leave me several days where I could train from home, which came as a welcome surprise to me.

So next week I'll be spending two days at home, training through the online system to get the necessary underpinnings to bring me more fully into the technology role that I was originally hired for. It was a relief to find that out, as I had wondered if I'd been told one thing and was being discarded after I'd done what was needed in order to help on midnights until they could hire someone else. That didn't really make sense to me and so today I relaxed, telling my worrying brain to shut up once again.

March 24 - Un-line that brow!

Today was my first care-free day in many months.

It was a conscious decision on my part: I wasn't going to do anything today to add stress to my mind, as I am wont to do all too regularly if I don't catch myself.

So I went out for breakfast to my favorite restaurant (Stone's Throw) and didn't rush.

I spent a little time playing in the closed beta of the new Neverwinter Online PC game, which was a lot of fun even with the rough edges. I think it's got potential and I hope it develops properly in the next few months.

In the afternoon I took time to Moka House, to sit in the sunshine with no agenda other than to enjoy the patio while sipping my tea and having a chocolate hedgehog for the first time in six months (they're loaded with sugar and I've been careful with that in my diet for about as long). It was heavenly and a good way to wind down for the evening.

Not much else to say, really. Until next week! 

Guides, Green and a Good Night's Sleep

The word of the week is switchover.

March 11 - We miss you, Douglas

There are many authors that have influenced me over the years, but few the extent Douglas Adams has. 

Today marks his birthday.

The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy series of books contains leaps of imagination and zany humor such as I'd never seen before and it captured me hook, line and sinker. Along with the works of Monty Python, Douglas Adams had a profound influence on my sense of humor that has stayed with me to this day. The recent movie starring Zoey Deschanel and Martin Freeman was an excellent adaptation of Adams's work which I thoroughly enjoyed, as it captured the wacky universe that Douglas depicted.

It's a crime against the universe that Douglas Adams left us so soon, but we still have his works to enjoy and for that I'll always be grateful. Thanks to him, I always know where my towel is.

March 12 - It's a Sine!

Well, this is neat!

I really love science; for years I had a subscription to Popular Science magazine just so I can keep up with all the latest developments that technology was bringing us. With the rise of the Internet, I've been able to find my own sources outside of PopSci, which is fantastic: science is more popular now than ever with the rise of G33k culture.

Things like the video below fill me with a childlike wonder whenever I see them. Science is always discovering something new and exciting in our world, so frequently that sometimes I forget how rapid the advance of modern technology has been in my lifetime alone. Watch the video and be amazed all over again by the world you live in:

March 13 - Sunstones

I like to dabble in history, especially the more interesting parts.

Recently, scientists unearthed a fascinating relic that turned out to be even older than they first thought: it's a Viking Sunstone.

These stones were used by the Vikings in order to navigate on the open ocean even when the sun was not visible through the clouds. The natural crystal of the stone is translucent and focuses the week sunlight to the point where the direction of the sun can be determined easily by a trained eye.

Discoveries like this fascinate me, as it shows yet again that the ancient world was full of wonders that we are unaware of today save through layers of myth and half understood texts. My creativity is fired every time something new comes out of history, revealed to the modern world. I imagine places, people and things that may have existed or may not, depending on your sources and how willing you are to believe in legends.

The Sunstone is possible proof that some of those legends are true. If so, then what else may have existed that today we think was only myth?

March 14 - Defiance and me

In the world we live in, coincidence happens fairly often.

When it involves creative properties, things may get a little heated.

Take, for example, the new sci-fi TV show Defiance. It's a story about aliens who come to earth, fight a war and we get to see the aftermath. Sounds great, right?

My problem is that it sounds a lot like my novel. Cue frustrated author feelings, focus on me.

A redhead? Seriously? I was there first...

I'm not saying that one story is a carbon copy of the other, but it annoys me to have worked so hard to come up with my own unique world just to have something similar pop up out of nowhere on television. I'm not claiming to be utterly unique in my creation but I certainly didn't borrow from anyone or anything knowingly or unwittingly; I did the best that I could with the stories in my mind.

Which makes me wonder if the arrival of Defiance will help or hinder my novel when it makes it to market eventually. I'll say it here first: there will likely be comparisons between the show and my book, but that I wasn't aware of defiance until Fall 2012 well after my novel's first draft was completed at the end of August 2012. I'm almost loath to find out anything about the show for fear of contaminating the third draft of my book that I'm currently working on. You can read all about Defiance on the web and if you want to do so spoiler-free, have a gander at this article - I did and I can say that I was surprised to learn that it's being classified as a Western, which my novel definitely isn't. As well, there are no humans anywhere in my book and no mention of Earth at all, which is a small comfort as I can just imagine agents comparing the two and quietly slipping my book into the Rejection Pile with little thought.

I have to be positive and believe that my work will stand on its own, regardless of some interdimensional trickster playing pranks on my psyche as I try to get published.

March 15 - One month employed!

One month ago today, I started my new job.

It's been a month of midnights, stocking shelves  five days a week, and I've enjoyed most every minute of it. Unexpectedly, at that, though I knew that the stress levels would be far less than at my last job.

One of the unexpected benefits of the new job is that it's been very therapeutic for my tendinitis. My arms no longer ache after a day's simple activities or even after moderate exertion, such as working with boxes all night long. I've been very careful not to strain either arm unnecessarily and I believe the regular exertions I've put them through has been beneficial; I can feel much of my strength returned to my arms along with a new firmness to my grip for which I'm very grateful.

I'm also pleased that I've lost 10 pounds in the last month, as it's obvious it was just an excess that was doing me no good. I still feel energetic enough to ride my bike at speed twice a day to work and back, though I have been tired after some of the heavier midnight shifts. I like to think of it as paring myself down to the essentials so that I can build myself back up again as I see fit - if you'll pardon the pun.

Wrong eyes and hair, but close enough of a resemblance to me...

That's the idea this year: to move forward and to make more of myself. To focus on what I need to do to lead the life I want and to leave behind the problems that I've carried for so many years.

It's happening now; I just have to find a balance between work and the other elements of my plans for this year so that I don't lose focus and I can achieve as many of my goals as possible.

March 16 - Adjustment

Today I began adjusting my body clock so I can work days again.

I actually began planning for this a month ago, as I knew I wouldn't be staying on midnight shifts long-term. Each night, I brought a large thermos of tea to work with me, half of which I had midnight and the other half at 4 AM p.m. I did this consistently, so that my body quickly became used to the boost that the caffeine gave me and so carried me through the night without relying too heavily on such a thing.

When I got home from work this morning, I was very tired as I hadn't had my full dose of tea last night - just a small amount at midnight and that was it. I slept for only four hours and then woke myself, pouring some fresh tea to kickstart my body clocks adjustment. I stayed up, unfortunately well past midnight until I could finally fall asleep and woke again well before dawn on Sunday, again only having got four hours sleep - not what I had in mind but that's the human body for you, always full of surprises.

My exclusion of caffeine seems to have done the trick, as I'm getting tired already at the right times in the evening. I'm hoping that I'll be able to sleep through Sunday night to wake was a fairly normal circadian rhythm and the reset body clock on Monday morning. A few days of light therapy should also help, as has the sunny weekend: I've spent quite a few hours in bright sunlight all told on Saturday and Sunday so I am fairly certain that I've given the right marching orders for sleeping at night.

Dreaming, well… that's another matter altogether.

March 17 - Green

St. Patrick's Day is my favorite unofficial holiday of the year, but not for the reason you think.

Some people like it for the social aspect, seeing many of their friends in close proximity at a local pub or house party. Others simply like it for the drink, as it's an excuse for imbibing more than is good for you in a short period of time over one evening. There are also some folk who simply enjoy the energy of the evening, wherever they are, with the enthusiasm of a shared celebration by everyone around them.

For me, I like St. Patrick's Day because of the color green.

Green is, after all, my favorite color. There are many reasons why and I won't bore you with them; suffice to say that above all other shades of the rainbow, the color green speaks to me the most. As Kermit the frog said, it's not easy being green, but I prefer to think of the color as denoting growth, which I can definitely relate to my life in the present with all the changes I have gone through and am planning to undertake this year.

Green is good.

It's late and I'm done the blog. Now to try for some sleep before my dayshift; here's hoping! See you next week.

Blossoms, Being Busy and Business Beginnings

The word of the week is fortitude.

March 4 - Business Busy

Whew! I've been rather busy working on both of my businesses this last week, putting together the website for the one and doing market research for the other.

Let me tell you, you don't see 90% of the work that goes on behind the scenes in order to make a business successful. I realized this a few years ago, when I walked into a bakery just down the street and saw all the wonderful confections on display. It was early in the morning and so more delicious things were still being created behind the counter. It struck me that so much had to go into the production of such sweet-smelling treats, from getting talented staff to keeping the books to getting products ordered to paying the rent and the thousand other things that meant the doors could open every day for waiting customers. Tons of hard work for the little the customer sees while purchasing things.

I am at the very beginning stages of getting my business running; I don't have any customers and I'm working on perfecting my products so that when I do open my doors, I'll be ready for whoever walks in - so to speak. I'll be starting on my business plan for my Internet service within a few weeks, once I get the website polished enough so that anyone looking at it sees a professional company ready to provide a service that they be willing to pay for. I think I have a good shot, according to feedback from a few people in the know, so I need to push to get there first before someone else eats my lunch.

March 5 - Winter? Where?

No snow.

I'll say it again: we've had no snow here at all in Victoria this winter. Zip.

We have had some very cold days, with frost on the grass and ice fog on the fields for half a dozen days in total but never anything falling from the sky to sit like a white blanket everywhere.

It's been great.

Now the blossoms are coming out on the trees all over the place:

Looking west along View St towards downtown at dusk

This is why I live in Victoria: to avoid the winter that seems to be such a major part of Canadian psyche but not part of mine. I did enjoy winter activities as a kid but never the cold which always came along with them. Maybe if I was a bigger person or naturally generated more body heat I could tolerate the cold more, but I remember vividly back when I was taking swimming lessons during the summer how viciously cold and the pool water was and how long I shivered for afterwards even after working as hard as I could in the water. I'll be quite happy to spend the rest of my days without seeing a single snowflake except in passing or in pictures, which makes Victoria my permanent home…

Unless they build an indoor beach on a Mars colony in the next 20 years, then I'll be right there to sign up.

March 6 - Groupon Courses

Seems the universe wants me to get a few certificates under my belt.

A Groupon offer came up this week, one that I couldn't refuse: a package of four IT courses online for just $99, instead of the hundreds( or thousands )they usually cost. So I sprang for them, as I figured it's well past time to make my computer skills 'official' and so help me in my future career paths.

I can do the courses on my own time( midnight 'days off' seem best )over the next few months, which is perfect as I'm wide awake the whole time with time on my hands. At the end of it, I'll have something solid to add to my resume, which will greatly help in moving to new jobs that require a CompTIA+ certification( or even just prefer one )like a network support tech or computer technician.

I'll be a busy little beaver for the next while with this on my plate, atop all the other things, but it will be SO worth it. It's been extremely frustrating to have all my computer knowledge but being unable to quantify it on my resume.

Now, I'll be able to!

March 7 - Her Morning Elegance

Art is one of the deepest expressions of what it means to be human.

The thing about art is that it can come from anywhere and do almost anything, bringing people a sense of wonder or creating controversy or doing any of 100 things all at once.

Animation is a fantastic type of art, as it can take so many forms to say so much. The stop motion technique used in the video below shows just how something so simple can be transformed into a lovely comment on our human condition.

If you listen closely to the lyrics, it seems that the singer is talking about something sad while were watching, which again shows the many levels that art can affect us on. Writing, painting, film, sculpture or any of the many other forms of art all speak to us; no one is ever unaffected by art at any level and I hope that as my life continues, I will continue to appreciate even more forms of art so that I can get closer to understanding what our world is really all about.

March 8 - Strong Women

When I write, I like to write strong characters.

Men are easier to write in this regard, as muscles tend to be associated with the male physique and psyche both. Women, on the other hand, are strong in other ways and I find this much more interesting as a writer to explore. Some writers will expound on how a strong female character has to be better than their male counterparts, but I disagree with that path. Strong women are just like strong men: what really counts comes from within.

Given today's media craze about celebrities, I find it disconcerting that so much emphasis is placed on people who have no redeeming qualities as role models. The Kardashians, Honey Boo-Boo( who IS that, anyway? )and their ilk as well as the many inhabitants of reality television shows all contribute exactly nothing to the world and simply take up space to catch the eye, much as people will slow down to boggle at a roadside accident. Useless.

Which is why I love strong characters, especially strong women and thankfully there are quite a few of these in science fiction, including much of recent television. There are also many examples of excellent female characters in many written works I admire, but I find it easiest to bring to mind those characters who have been brought to life by excellent actresses over the last few years.

March 9 - Running and Interests

Finally, all the factors came together today and I went for my first run. Ever.

Which went fairly well, all told. My hands were cold as I forgot gloves, but the new shoes I picked up a few weeks ago were very comfortable, with my feet and legs feeling fine as I ran along the paths around Beacon Hill Park. I worked up a good sweat and was done in less than half an hour, though I found that I had the most trouble with proper breathing techniques and as such had to walk intermittently instead of running at a steady pace. 

Which is probably a good thing, as this was my first run and I knew I didn't want to overdo it out of sheer enthusiasm. The next day my knees were aching, so I'll have to keep a close eye on them to avoid any long-term damage caused by running improperly or just general wear. All in all, it was easier than I expected and I hope to get out at least a couple times a week if my joints will allow.

Something else I should mention are my many interests that occupy my mind and keep it active alongside my body.

As an example of how many interests I have, today I actually looked at how many tabs I had open in Firefox today.

Four hundred and twenty five. Wow.

That's a LOT - but I refer back to many of them, independent of bookmarks. Of which I have, at last count, upwards of 6,000 even after a recent 2012 cleanup. What can I say? I like to know about a lot of things, keep up with the latest developments and pursue my many interests… which at times denotes to me a lack of focus, perhaps, but it keeps my brain active. I believe the reason I'm never bored is that I can simple reach out and turn over a new interest to see what's going on. I can also consult The Renaissance Man's Guide to Doing Everything, which is free!

There's something to be said about being able to do that.

March 10 - No loss, no gain

I haven't lost any more weight this week, but neither have I gained any back.

My meals have increased in size and frequency, though not all that much more as I don't want to overreact and overeat, thus causing another problem. My motto over the years has always been "everything in moderation" which is both sensible and easy to achieve if you think  ahead.

I have found that I've been sleeping better at night when I've ridden my bike to work and back again. This makes sense, as combined with work I've had a fairly busy time of cardio exercise and my bike ride, while taxing, is not exhausting, especially when compared with the route I used to take which climbed some rather steep hills on a daily basis. I'm finding that it's already easier for me to get to work with less effort, which just goes to show that I know what I'm doing when it comes to moderate exercise.

At least I know that I'm not losing weight from stress, as both my sister and I are working again now. Taking a look at our near future planning, things look fairly decent even when I don't factor in additional  income from one or other of my businesses or similar things.

No, 2013 is really turning out to be a good year, as long as I keep my nose to the grindstone. 

Hard work is something I'm familiar with and as long as I remember to work smart as well then I should see some results fairly shortly. I just have to remember to work on my novel too, which I can't just leave to founder untouched while I focus on more practical and immediate things. The story is still there, waiting to get out and seeing as I know I can do more than just pay my bills now means that my creative side can come out of the wings where it's been waiting and get back to improving my third draft once more.

After all, I don't think I could imagine anything better than a publisher's acceptance letter dropping through my doors mail slot one afternoon later this year. 

Can you?

Midnights are going apace now: I'm wide awake from midnight to 7am, though I start to feel the tired creeping up on me around dawn. I'm not having more than one mug of tea a night, so that's been great as I don't want a caffeine crutch to be what's keeping me going. A few more weeks of this and I should be able to switch back to a daytime schedule, as I'll find out tomorrow if they've hired someone for midnights. More updates as they develop!

Thoughts, Tendinitis and Thirds

The word of the week is introspection.

February 25 - Computer XP

Today after I woke up, I helped a  couple in my building buy a new computer.

I had previously diagnosed their old PC as having a bad power supply and backed up all their photos immediately before it died completely. Today's trip was out to my new workplace, where I surprised the day staff by showing off all the sun was still shining. It was nice to be able to demonstrate my computer expertise in front of several staff while still helping my neighbors get what they needed without overspending.

There's still a few tearoff tabs left on the poster that I have up in the building and I hope that I'll get a few more calls this week from people needing my assistance. It's a familiar and simple thing for me to do, helping folks with their basic computer problems and it's something I can do in addition to a regular day job and my other activities such as freelancing or getting my other companies up and running.

Plus, it just feels good to be able to help people so easily with my expertise. I know from experience that running my own computer store would be a difficult thing, as the margins are so low, so I've never considered it as something I could do full-time. All the same, I'd like to be busy enough with these side jobs that I could consider them a solid part-time job in addition to whatever day job I end up with; that'd be fantastic!

February 26 - Improvement!

As it this week's blog seems to be all about me and rather introspective at that, I'll diverge a little bit here and talk about my wrists in particular.

The new job seems to be doing wonders for my wrists, at least in terms of daily discomfort. A month ago I couldn't do most tasks without some aching pain after a short period of time depending on what I was doing.

Now, after lifting boxes and stocking shelves for two weeks, my wrists seem to have been gently flexed enough that I'm not in pain at all after a night's work. This is wonderful news to me and though I still feel some aches here and there during my day, they are in no way comparable to the ones I had up until this point that required daily icing to reduce to manageable levels.

In some ways, it's as though this job was meant to be just what I needed at this time in many ways. It's done my wrists good, it's eased me back into the work world without having to suffer 'new job shock' syndrome and done so in a way that I don't have to deal with customers, which I've mentioned before as a stress factor.

The biggest thing though is my wrists; the fact that I can now lift fairly heavy boxes without my tendinitis flaring up means that things can only improve from here as long as I keep a very close eye on what I'm doing every moment when I am lifting. I'm just thrilled to see such a rapid improvement and I'll be adding some gentle exercises to further return my wrists to normal function by this summer, I hope, about a year and a half after I first injured them in 2012. That's right on the time estimate that the doctor gave me this past August and I think that my new job is perfect timing all around for that.

February 27 - Thirds

If you've ever wondered about what I write in this blog and why I write it, here's a little insight.

The main reason I read the blog is to allow my family and friends from all over to keep up with what I do; it's like an online journal in that way. No surprises there.

I also like to write down my thoughts and feelings here, so that I can refer back to them later. As well, they perform in a cathartic manner, as I am making them concrete by setting them down in this written form.

However, I thought recently about how much does and doesn't go into this blog. I'm a fairly sharp person and there's always a lot of thought going on behind my eyes, even apart from the regular daily stresses and worries that bedevil us all. My mind operates on many levels, observing and filing and comparing things alongside the various thought processes as I'm interacting with the challenges of the day.

That said, I write down only about a third of what's going on every week in my head and in my life. Another of the missing thirds are the petty concerns and daily trials that we all face in dealing with life in general - not including making shopping lists or laundry, because those things almost never merit a mention unless you find money along the way to either.

The last third are things that no one will ever see, thoughts that would normally only ever make it into a journal, except I don't keep a journal anymore. Back in the 1990s, I kept one for several years but stopped as soon as I realized it had become a place where I simply scribbled my complaints… and it reads as such to me whenever I get up the courage to page through every few years. For some people, journals and diaries are wonderful things, where you can have a conversation with your past self or your future self, depending on how you write and what you want to write about. For me, this blog serves that function, as well as several others, but in the main I keep things positive here and in most respects I feel that I've succeeded in tracking and upwards journey towards a brighter future, one blog entry at a time.

February 28 - Loose pants!

Once every month or so, I weigh myself as a matter of course.

This time, as I stepped on the scales I was shocked to see that I have lost 7 pounds since the end of January! This is highly unusual for me as I don't gain or lose weight all that quickly and certainly not as much as this in so short a time.

It looks like the combination study physical labor and working nights along with a slightly inadequate diet for the calories I've been expanding is to blame. Adding cycling to work and back home again several times a week probably figures in their too.

So I've upped my food intake as well as increased the number times and eating each day in order to compensate. They are all healthy meals and I've included a nutritional shake along with several fruits, so I shouldn't see any more weight loss and I should get back some of my lost body mass in the next few weeks. It will be a healthy weight gain, as I can already feel my muscles tightening and strengthening from the work I've been doing every night; it's like a slow work out for eight hours and I'm ensuring I don't strain myself trying to overdo things. All the same I'll be weighing myself weekly to keep an eye on things until I return to my regular weight.

March 1 - Still Nights

Spring is here in Victoria, right on schedule. Blossoms are appearing everywhere, the grass is green and the sun has been shining brightly in between the long bouts of rain watering all the plants.

It also looks like I'll be on nights for several more weeks.

Staples has so far been unable to find anyone else to work midnights, which I'm not really surprised at as both previous times I've worked the graveyard shift it proved very difficult to get anyone hired in a timely manner. I calculate that I have probably a few months until I can no longer do nights, when my body finally gets to the point where it won't function normally unless I return to a daytime schedule.

I sincerely hope that replacement staff have been hired by then, as I really want to go to daytime and so continue my employment with Staples. I'll keep thinking positively and hoping that with the current job market, several other people will get the call as I will and decide that working is better than taking a handout. I most certainly do not want to continue on nights and find myself still slogging away under the midnight sun six months from now.

Which means I'll still be looking for a job, just in case. All the same, I've really been enjoying my time at Staples and I'll do all I can to stay there while collecting a steady paycheck as long as possible.

March 2 - Fitness

My Spring exercise program starts this coming week.

Every other day I'll be running soon after I wake up in the afternoon, to accustom myself to the routine. The local part is nearby with the perfect mix of running surfaces including lovely cedar-wood chip paths.

In addition to the running, I have a friend who will be helping me begin a weight training regimen. Initially, the focus will be on allowing me to work with weights without injuring myself and especially without injuring my wrists. I've never been a member of a gym before or worked out seriously with weights so this will be a new experience for me. I've been told many times that I have an ideal frame for lifting weights and although I have no desire to turn myself into a professional bodybuilder, I do want to improve my physical appearance, at least to the point where I'm fit and can decide where to go from there.

With the cardio workout from running, alternating with cycling to work and back and the gym workouts, I should be in fairly decent shape by this summer. Who knows? I may even end up getting a tan and looking good on the beach… Though that means that actually have to get DOWN to the beach more often than my current never.

March 3 - Still waters

Earlier this week, I was feeling rather down, but that was my own fault.

As I've mentioned before, I tend to think a lot, to the point where I'm over thinking too many things and the worries start to get together to cause me trouble.

Changing one's perspective is a hard thing, one most people shy away from as it's far easier continuous old habits and to form new ones even if they're better for you.

I'm not talking about dietary habits, though those are important as well. No, I'm talking about thinking habits and perceptual habits, both of which are things that are hard to conceptualize let alone implement if you're not in the right frame of mind.

For the longest time, I've been reactionary and realistic, both of which are functions of survival and not conducive to living or achieving one's great dreams. I'm slowly seeing that thought can influence and become action, all dependent on one's perception of the reality you choose to inhabit. My reality for so long has been one confined by responsibility and defined by a lack of personal goal setting beyond my family's immediate needs.

It's time to change that; past time, really.

Completing my novel this past fall is just the first step along my journey towards a personal future that I have to focus on defining, but now I can see that there is a light ahead, instead of just a formless fog that I saw for the longest time, even after coming here to BC. My responsibility to my family has now diminished to the point where I can make out a shape in the fog that I recognize: it's me, holding the light, beckoning me towards a future where I have found my true self.

This has been the most thoughtful I've been in a long while... we'll see if next week sees me return to my usual habits, or if I'll write more of the same.